Frost
by kage-kurokawa
Summary: PART 8 finally up. Last Chappie... I'm sad... Ranken... Thanks for the reviews people... hopefully you'll take pity and review this last one...
1. Part I

Disclaimer: KageKurokawa DOES NOT OWN Takehiko Koyasu and Project Weiss. Takehiko Koyasu and Project Weiss OWN Weiss Kreuz. Therefore, KageKurokawa DOES NOT OWN Weiss Kreuz.

Kage so sad. Kage is pathetic.

A/N: Ah minna san… this is my first Weiss Kreuz fic ever… and I dedicate it to my favorite Weiss pair Ran/Ken… So kawaii those two… (chuckles!)

Hope you guys read and review! Please, please, please…

Warning: Errr… shounen ai… don't like? Read something else. And some language… Oh and is this angst? And I tend to be quite melodramatic it seems… Ahh…Well… to quote my all time favorite chara from somewhere… "Yare, yare…"

Frosted by KageKurokawa

The night covered the city under a veil of black. The moon is nowhere in sight. No stars too. There is only a canopy of dark heavy clouds that brought and onslaught of snow to kiss the earth. Sometimes, even Mother Nature seems give a pittance of sympathy to the dismal disposition of man. And tonight she chose to empathize with the silent tears of a broken figure, slumped wearily on a wall at a deserted alleyway somewhere in the city.

The man is tired, bruised and bleeding. His jeans torn on the knees and on the sides. His black jacket ripped at the shoulder. This is due to the force of impact when he hit the hard, solid concrete as he fell from his motorcycle earlier. The said vehicle now lying in a useless broken heap a few meters from him. But the man didn't seem to care. Oblivious to the pain of his body, the dirt he is lying on and the coldfrost seeping through his torn clothing. None of that really mattered.

He did not fucking care.

Tanned hands swept chocolate strands away from his faceas he lets the white crystals land softly on his injured face. Blue-green eyes closed to the world for a while as quiet tears freely flowed melting the snow that strayed into that stained face.

Behind closed lids, an image haunts unseeing eyes. Red hair. Violet eyes. Pale skin. And a very good right hand. Hands slowly went to a bruised left cheek. Damn good right hand.

It had been his fault. After all, he should have known better. He should have known by now that Aya will always be unpredictable. Hehad been so wrong in his assumptions. He thought the cold bastard actually cared about him. The stolen glances. A few kind acts every now and then. The teasing from this blond playboy. The encouragement from this genki little smiley. And he, Ken Hidaka, the idiot that he was, presumed that there could indeed be an underlying emotion underneath it all. And thus was proven, painfully, that he was only seeing things. After all, how could anyone bother with someone as stained as him…

_Earlier that day: _

"_Hey Kenken." _

"…"

"_Earth to Kenken!" _

"…"

"_Hey look a naked girl's running down the street!" _

"…"

"_Hey look! Aya's in a birthday suit!" _

"_Huh!" _

"_Got ya!" _

"_Youji!" _

"_You should see you're face, right about now. Hehehe." _

_xxx _

"_Anou, Ken-kun are you alright?" _

"_I'm fine Omi. Why do you ask?" _

"_Coz' Chibi here probably noticed you spacing out for about the nth time today." _

"_Was I? Sorry 'bout that. Where's Aya?" _

"_At the back, arranging the new arrivals?" _

"_We have new arrivals?" _

"_Ha! Shows just how lovesick you are." _

"_Yo-tan!" _

"_Why the hell don't you just 'fess up Kenken? It'll save you some trouble." _

"_Actually, that's what I'm planning to do tonight." _

"_Why wait for tonight when, you've got here and now?" _

"_I'm nervous you guys." _

"_No need for that Ken-kun. I'm positive that Aya-kun likes you back." _

"_Are you sure?" _

"_Yeah, we're sure. I mean, you should see the way he stares at your butt when you bend over. It's shameless, really." _

"_Yo- youji!" _

"_So could you guys do me a favor…" _

"_Oh we know already… We're gonna make ourselves scarce tonight so you can have your little moment-" _

"_Youji!" _

"_Hahaha. Come on, just chill Ken. It's gonna be okay. The worse that could happen is lover boy jumping on your pants before your big date." _

"_YOUJI!" _

"_Stop teasing Yo-tan. We're wishing you the best of luck Ken-kun." _

"_Thanks Omi. I have a feeling I'm gonna need it." _

At that moment he didn't realize just how much luck he's going to need.

_Evening… _

"_Hey Aya, can I talk to you for a second?" _

"_I'm busy Ken, we're closing up." _

"_Ummm… it would only take a minute." _

"_I don't have a minute. And we're the hell is Omi and that the useless bum?" _

"_Anou, Omi had a report to finish and went off to the library. Youji had a date…" _

"…"

"…"

_xxx _

"_Well?" _

"_Uhhh... Well what, Aya?" _

"_Are you going to sit there and watch the shop close by itself?" _

"_Uhh… No. I'll help you." _

"_Then move." _

_xxx _

"_Anou, Aya can I ask you a question?" _

"_As long as you don't waste my time." _

"_You sound like you're in a hurry. Are you going somewhere tonight?" _

"_None of your business." _

"_But Aya-" _

"_You've had your question." _

"_Aya-" _

The red-headed leader of Weiss walked off without a backward glance, leaving the dejected figure that stared at his retreating figure. And light snow began to drizzle on the pavement.

_Later… _

_Snow is still falling outside. _

_The clock read 10:30 p.m. Ken Hidaka paced around his room anxiously. Omi's fast asleep in his room. Youji probably won't be coming home from his date. And Aya… Aya still hasn't returned from his little expedition at heaven-knows-where. All the waiting is unnerving the soccer player. _

_Yes. He was waiting for Fujimiya Aya, his efficient, taciturn leader. He didn't have the chance to voice out his question earlier when the redhead so easily dismissed him before walking away. _

_Darn it! How the hell does he begin his speech? He's clumsy enough as it is in front of Aya, not to mention the fact that he gets tongue-tied in the presence of his gorgeous leader. Will Aya be returning soon? The sound of the main door opening and closing is a most anticipated and most dreaded moment of the night. _

'_Calm down Ken. You can do this. Deep breath.' _

_And there it was. That click of the lock that signals the arrival of the awaited person. Ken went out of his room and into the hallway to meet Aya. _

'_Okay deep breath Ken. Here we go…' _

_Footsteps reached the top landing. Ken paused. Looked up. And found himself staring at the most beautiful pair of amethyst eyes that he has ever seen. He forgot how to breathe. _

"_What are you doing up Ken?" _

"_Well… I was waiting for you…" _

"_Why?" _

"_Well I'd like to ask you something?" _

"_Again?" _

"_No Aya. Seriously, I've been wanting to ask you something since this evening." _

"…" _Stare. _

"_Umm…well… you see… err… how do I start…" _

"_Quit rambling Ken. If you're gonna waste my time, I'm off to bed." _

"_Wait! Willyougooutandhavedinnerandwatchamoviewithmetomorrow?" _

"_I did not understand a word." _

"_I said, will you go out and have dinner with me tomorrow, and maybe watch a movie afterwards?" _

"_What? Like a date?" _

"_Well… uh… yes?" _

"…"

"_Ummm… Aya?" _

"…"

"…"

"_I don't swerve that way Ken" _

"_Oh. I'm sorry then. I just thought…" _

"_You thought wrong." _

"_Well I'm sorry for wasting your time… I hope this doesn't affect our…" What can he say now? Friendship? Aya doesn't even seem to acknowledge that friendship… and he, Ken Hidaka, always assumes too much… _

"…_working relationship." Yes, that's all there is to it. _

_He turned and walked to his room. Something stinging in his eyes. Then all of a sudden he was pulled back, crushed in a tight embrace and his lips assaulted with a rough kiss. _

_Ken thought he had died and gone to heaven. The kiss was everything he hoped for and more. Nothing else matters. Who knew Aya would be such a passionate kisser? Lack of air finally forced them apart. Arms loosened slightly. _

_By golly, Aya likes him! And man, does he love Aya! This means that there could be a chance… _

_Kenken looked up with a soft smile on his lips. Anticipation in his eyes. Only to be met with a good right hand fist connecting with his left cheek. His form staggered backwards. _

_Wide blue green eyes opened wide in shock. _

_Did Aya just fucking hit him? _

_No._

_Not Aya. _

_Aya likes him. _

_Aya just kissed him. _

_Hestood there, gaping at his leader. No trace of emotion can be seen on the redhead's face. No hint of feeling in those violet eyes. Cold. Unsympathetic. Almost cruel. _

_He slowly took several steps forward. One. Two. Three. _

"_Aya…" _

_And another fist made contact. Hard. Bruising. Enough to draw blood. _

_He fell on his knees. He couldn't move. _

_His leader calmly walked away without a word. Not one fucking word. And there was silence in the dark hall, where the broken figure of a man kneels, with his head bowed low, his hands falling limply on his sides. Unmoving. Unbelieving… Bleeding. And the silent tears began to fall… _

_After a while came a whisper. _

"_Why?" _

_Broken. But a whisper. _

"_Why?" _

_Drooping fists began to clench. Tears stopped falling. _

_Ken Hidaka got up. Walked to his room. Grabbed a jacket. And went out to ride his bike. He needed to clear his head. _

_The clock read 11:30. _

_It was snowing. No. Not snowing. It was a bloody blizzard. The sky seemed to have opened up and decided to dump the Antarctic on this side of the planet. Who cares? Thesnow fell hard on him as he maneuvered his bike down the streets of Tokyo, breaking speed limits. Who cares? The road is dark and slippery. Who the fuck cares? _

_The streets are almost empty because of the heavy snowfall. But there are still occasional bright lights flashing all around, billboards of reindeer and smiling Santas here and there, reminding people what this season is all about. Some faint far away carols echo from a distance. But it doesn't mean anything to the brunette zooming down the deserted roads. _

_He made a wrong turn. His motorbike slid and he was hurled meters away. He hit the wet pavement. Hard. Painful. Might have broken some bones. Who the hell cares? Not him._

_His watch read. 12:01 am. _

_It's December 23. His birthday. What was that line again? Right. Reality's a bitch. _

"_Happy Birthday to Me. Yay." _

_And Ken Hidaka fell asleep under the blanket of snow. _

_xxx _

The next morning, there were only three men on duty in the Koneko flower shop. It's gonna be quite a dismal day again, it seems. People would rather stay warm at home than brave the cold weather. Or else, go to the mall and buy gifts. Flowers stay in bloom for only while after all. Business is gonna be quite slow… 'til Christmas day…

Inside…

"Hey Chibi, have you seen Kenken around."

"No Youji. I knocked on his door this morning but there was no response."

"Oi, Aya. Have you seen our little Kenken?"

"How the hell should I know Kudou?"

"I thought he spent the night at you place."

Glare.

"Kidding aside Aya, do you know where he is?"

"I'm not his babysitter."

"Hmph. Really, you give Scrooge a good run for his money, Fujimiya."

"Shut up and get to work, Kudou."

"You know, it's supposed to be the 'season to be jolly, falalalalalala…"

"Shut it!"

xxx

The day wore on but still Ken's shadow was nowhere in sight at the shop.

"Guys I'm worried..."

"Aww sheesh, chibi. Kenken's just probably prepping himself up for his date tonight."

"Huh?"

"That bastard. He took the day off to impress Mr. Grouchy. I'm supposed to be the only who lazes for the dates."

"Youji-kun-"

"Hey Aya, you sure you didn't know where Ken went?"

"…"

"That guy's been acting strange since this morning. What do you think Chibi?"

"I agree Yo-tan."

"Will you two stop talking and start arranging?"

"Yes,O high and mighty one."

xxx

"Hey guys, do you know what today is?"

"Today is Thursday."

"Yes it's Thursday, and it's December 23. Ken-kun's birthday!"

A certain red-head froze.

"It is? Man, I forgot. I didn't get him any present."

"Birthday?" Came a deep low voice. Hesitant.

"Hai, Aya."

"You'd better be planning something special for your date tonight Fujimiya. I'm even willing to take on your work for the day so you can go grab Kenken a nice gift."

"What date?"

Uh-oh.

"Oh come on Aya. He asked you out yesterday didn't he?"

"…"

"Aya?"

"Get back to work."

Aya turned away and went out back leaving two people silently staring at his back.

xxx

Ken didn't return on his birthday. He didn't show up to work the next day. He wasn't home for Christmas. There were no messages, no phone calls. Nothing. No sign from the brunette if he was still alive and breathing. Omi and Youji were worried. They knew something must have happened. Aya remained silent. And seemingly unaffected, but he was a bit more irritable than usual. Luckily they didn't have any missions coming up yet. They were contemplating on searching for Kenken if the J-leaguer didn't show upany time soon.

xxx

On the 26th Ken finally decided to grace the shop with his pretty yet still slightly bruised up face. One of his hands was wrapped up in bandages. His clothes were dirty and ripped, his jeans quite tattered.

Omi's eye's bugged out of his head. Youji frowned. Aya simply stared.

"Ken-kun what happened!"

"Don't fuss Omi I'm fine." At the smaller blonde's raised eyebrows Ken looked at the state of his clothing and smiled. "Well, sort of anyway."

"Kenken! Did you get hit by a speeding bus or something?"

"I wish," the brunette muttered.

"What?"

"No Youji. Nothing that exciting. I just fell off my bike that's all." Another smile.

"You fell of your bike!"

"Yeah. Took a turn too fast. A patrolling policeman found me and brought me to the hospital."

"But why didn't you tell us that-"

"Because I don't want you guys to worry about me, okay?"

"And you think disappearing for three days without a word would not worry us?"

"Sorry Yo-tan. I better go to my room and rest for a bit. I can return to work tomorrow." A look that pleaded for no more questions. Luckily it was heeded by the two blondes.

"Rest well ken, okay?"

"Thanks, Omi."

xxx

The next day, Ken went back to work, being his usual self. He smiled and politely entertained customers. He joked around with Omi and Youji, made a few clumsy mistakes with some plants. Typical Kenken. But some things are amiss. For one he wouldn't look people in the eyes, and he's unusually silent around Aya. He's often out of it, mind drifting somewhere else, but in a different way. Not very noticeable to most people, but very evident to one particular pair of amethyst eyes that had been staring intently at the brunette all day.

xxx

That night…

A knock sounded at Ken's door. It was a light knock. Soft. Tentative. Then firm. The soccer player started at the sound.

"Come in. it's open."

An all too familiar vision greeted his line of sight. Red hair, violet eyes, pale skin clothed in a white sweater and tight denim jeans… gorgeous.

Aya.

"I believe we have things to discuss Hida- Ken."

"Really? I think your message came loud and clear, Aya."

"Ken-"

"Look, I know we can't ignore the fact that things had happened okay? And maybe we can't forget it, but it's done. Let's just deal with it and go our separate ways. There's nothing to discuss."

"Ken I want to apo-"

"Cut the crap Aya. I'd like to pretend that you actually mean that, and that I wasn't hurt, and apology accepted but I can't, okay. Anyhow, I've begun to understand where you're coming from. So let's just be civil to one another from now on. We can't let petty things like this affect the team."

"Petty?"

"Yes. What else would you call it? It was petty. We're assassins. We can't allow ourselves to have these heavy sentiments. A stupid mistake on my part, really. Don't worry I'll get over it."

Avoidant blue green eyes.

"But Ken-"

A hint of pleading?

No, Hidaka's hearing things again.

"Look, I would like to act like I wanted to stay and chat but I can't. There's some place that I've got to be. You can see yourself out I'm sure. See you at work."

And the door closed behind the brown haired, soccer player. Not knowing that if he bothered to glance up, he would have seen the hurt written all over his leader's face.

xxx

Ken Hidaka stood by a grave amidst the snow-covered ground. His gaze focused on the tombstone.

"You were right you know. Once a sucker, always a sucker… Kaze."

And as he slowly walked away, he could feel the frost seep through the material of his clothing. Onto his skin, seeping through his pores, into his veins, and that throbbing system on his chest. He welcomed the chill. With some luck, tomorrow he'll wake feeling nothing at all…

End Part I

A/N: So, how was it? Crappy? Sappy? Angsty? Was it bad? Dare I continue? Should I leave it this way or should I put in a happy ending?… or maybe a deathfic… naahhh… deathfics are not nice for holidays… maybe I'll save that one for Valentines. : )

I've been wanting… no itching to make a Ran/Ken fic for quite some time now. And I finally found the time to write… so please R&R even just to say no comment…

Comments, suggestions, reactions… anything… I'd really love some feedback from you guys…

Happy holidays minna san!

Ja, ne.


	2. Part II

Disclaimer: I own Ran and Ken in my dreams. So NO kage DOES NOT and will NEVER own WEISS.

Oh how I lament reality!!! (Author bopped for being so overdramatic.)

A/N: Wow!!! There are people reading this fic… O.o

Reviews!!! YAY!!! Aww… minna san…. Arigatoo Gozaimashita!!! That was like… the most reviews I've got for a chapter… THANK YOU for wasting… uh… taking the time to read this!!! Here's a hug! : )

Sorry this took quite a while. Can't seem to write angst during the holidays… I blame too much sugar… I still have some after effects of my sugarhigh so bear with me.

Err… okay a few quick notes: I think this is gonna be a three or four part thing; I apologize for the countless spelling errors; with the threat of having a shi-ne mode Aya on my neck, rest assured that this will not be a deathfic. Ummm… this chapter is also a bit sad still.

And finally, if I really did, I didn't mean to make any one cry okay? : )

Now, maybe I should note that for the last lines of this fic, I took from another fic of mine "Twisted", so I don't think I'm plagiarizing anything if I got it from something I wrote right?

Please read and review first before throw those rotten tomatoes that I can see you guys are holding…

And on with this piece…

Frost

Part II Games

A snow covered morning greeted the metropolis, the clouds thinning a bit to allow faint rays of sunlight to filter through to the world below.

On a room atop a little flowershop, a certain brunette grudgingly woke up from a dreamless slumber to tired muscles and tender healing bruises. Ken Hidaka slowly stretched his body, careful not to pull on any injured muscles. His blue green eyes opened hesitantly to meet the pale light streaming into the window. Somehow he feels drained even after sleep. It must have been because he had walked aimlessly for hour the previous night before he decided to turn in. The same routine he'd been doing for two nights now.

Damn, he is tired.

_But the room is cold_.

His brain is still muzzy.

_Still, it feels the cold._

He wants to sleep some more.

_But it's cold under covers too._

And he has to go to work.

_Maybe the heater's broken down._

It's time to take that hot shower.

_Damn, it's too cold._

Thus, he got up and took a very hot shower.

Enough to sting uncomfortably, but not enough to burn.

And yet the second he got out, it was still feels…

Cold.

xxx

The day proved to be quite a busy one at the Koneko flower shop. That infamous blonde playboy went out to do the morning deliveries and probably won't be back till lunch or after he get some pretty girl's number in his little black book. The blonde genki, on the other hand went out back to water the new stocks that came earlier. Inside the shop, one customer satisfactorily went out the door with a bunch of flowers in hand leaving the shop empty save for two people. And silence hung in the air for some minutes. Or maybe half an hour. Or longer.

A certain redhead sat on the counter quietly stared at an unmoving brunette who was supposed to arranging an order. Ken was staring into space, one his hands frozen in mid-action, holding a leaf, while the other, holding the scissor was busily cutting through the air. He had that 'i'm-somewhere-in-la-la-land' look again for the nth time over the past few days.

Well, Aya got tired of staring and scowled.

Blue green orbs were jolted out of trance as their owner felt something on his lips, and was greeted by the sight of half lidded amethyst gems and warm lips on his.

Suddenly it wasn't cold any more.

Until reality came crashing down.

_What the he-?_

"Daydreaming 'bout me, Kenken?" The voice was low, flat, cold. Pale, beautiful face sporting a small smirk. Seemingly mocking. Would've made Youji proud.

Ken felt his face burn in embarrassment..

A second of silence.

Before a resounding slap broke the stillness in reply.

Pale face now marred with red stinging mark.

Blue green eyes began to feel something stinging.

_Damn, his hand hurt._

"Fuck you, Fujimiya." He is confused but he will not give in.

"Oh is that what you were dreaming about?" came the icy reply.

A good uppercut would have connected with Aya's jaw had he not been able to catch it, while effectively dodging another and then catching that one as well. And thus they stood there in the middle of the shop. One glaring openly, looking a bit flushed, and the other staring back coolly. Before the moment was broken.

"Let me go damn it!" And the soccer player began to struggle against his leader's firm grip. To no avail.

Until…

"Hey Ken-kun…"

Omi called from the back. Approaching footsteps can be heard.

Aya's hold abruptly loosened.

Ken gathered his wits while the redhead just turned his back and walk calmly to the counter.

The brunette glared daggers at his leader's turned back. Till the genki voice sounded in his ears once more.

"Hey Ken-kun…"

He turned just to see the young blonde standing by the back door.

"…can you help me bring in some of the plants?"

"Sure Omi."

"Is Youji back yet?"

"Oh you know that guy, he's probably finding a date on the side."

xxx

Out back, Ken began to lift the first plant.

Then Omi just had to say something.

"Anou, Ken…" He's got that look on his face.

"Yes, Omi?" Ken knows that look.

"Are you alright?" Damn, he knew it. It's that 'I-know-something's-wrong-but I'll-play innocent-till-you-tell-me' kind of look.

"Why do you ask?" Uh-oh. Ken thinks, _'I can't deal with this right now.'_ And thus the game of playing dumb began with the two best friends.

"Your face is all red." Which translates to: 'Something happened in there with Aya. That you don't want to talk about.'

"It is?" Meaning: 'it's that obvious?'

A hand reached out and touched Ken's forehead. "You're hot too. You might have a fever." Meaning: 'I can see right through you.'

Ken did not reply.

Omi tried again. "Maybe you're having a relapse." Read: 'do you want to talk about it?'

"Stop fussing Omi." Meaning: 'I don't want to talk right now okay?'

"Maybe you should go rest." Which means exactly what it means: 'take a break.'

"I'm fine, really." Read: 'I'm not backing down. I can handle it.'

The plant was taken from the brunette's arms, before a stubborn reply came: "Go. Rest. Or I'll ask Aya to make you." This was of course resorting to blackmail. Meaning: 'Go and brood where we can't see you."

And thus Ken reluctantly carried his heavy feet into the shop and up the stairs when he heard voices that froze him in midstep.

"Hey Aya." Youji.

"Go away, Kudou." Aya.

"Aww… I missed you too."

"…"

"What are you writing?"

"…"

"That a love letter?"

Glare.

"So, made your move yet, Scrooge?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Kudou."

"Right. And I'm a snow fairy. Drop the act."

"…"

"You are incorrigible."

"And you should mind your own business."

"Well, you're hurting Ken!"

"What the hell do you know Kudou!"

"I may not know the entire story, but I can see plenty Fujimiya! Kenken's always out of it that even those naïve little fangirls are noticing. Cutting flower petals instead of stems."

"…"

"You're always staring at him when you think no one's looking. Him giving you the sad puppy eyes when you turn your back. I maybe seem oblivious most of the time, but I'm not blind Fujimiya!"

"…"

"Why do I even bother?"

"…"

"What? You're not gonna say anything?"

"There's nothing to say."

"Damn it. You're one cold bastard, you know."

Temperatures rising.

"What do you want me to say? That I like Hidaka?"

"At the very least, yes."

"Well I don't."

"What?"

"I don't like him. In fact…"

"What?"

"I hate him."

"What the hell--"

" I hate his guts. I hate his carelessness. He always makes such a mess…"

At those words, the two didn't notice the topic of their conversation hastily walked up the stairs, and into his room, silent tears burning those blue green orbs once again.

Why is it so damn cold?

xxx

Downstairs, a piece of paper lay bared on the countertop only to be picked up by a certain blonde whose eyes widened as the meaning of words written on the white sheet began to make sense.

_People say I'm cold._

_Maybe they're right after all._

_I am cold._

_My hands are cold. I can't feel my feet._

_My whole body seems to be frozen in ice._

_Yes._

_I concur._

_I've always been cold._

_I've never minded though._

_I never even noticed._

_Until the warmth came._

_I don't need the warmth._

_I don't want to need it._

_It reminds me that I'm alive._

_I'm not alive._

_Not for a very long time._

_I'm already dead._

_I've always been dead._

_Since that night when I lost everything._

_So please…_

_Just let me be dead some more…_

End chapter.

A/N: Well that's it. I have a bit of mixed emotions about posting this chap… got shorter than intended... but oh well…

So hate it? like it? Was it crappy? Or sappy? Should I go through with the last or second to the last chappie? (Hey I made rhymes… crappy… but rhymes) (Alright, that's it, no more candy for me today!)

Please R&R… It's really appreciated.

Author hides and waits for the oncoming onslaught from livid readers…

Ja ne, minna.


	3. Part III

Disclaimers: Weiss : NOT MINE. (Don't you think that if I did I would not be writing a fanfic?)

Author bewailing miserable fate

A/N: Belated HAPPY NEW YEAR MINNA SAN!!!

O.o I still got readers… Yay! Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! They were nice New Year's gifts for me! Ureshii!!! 'Happy' datta! Here's a hug!

(Author suffering another sugar high… so please forgive the chirpiness! New Year's resolution no.1) Reduce sugar intake by 75!!!)

I got the idea of this fic from the song "Snow Crystal" from Saiyuki Reload. Especially when I heard the lines: "Snow is falling silence, I fall into heaven… I fall into darkness"

For some reason, I loved those lines…

Some quick notes again:

1) Ya Aya can be bastard but gotta love him! (reminds me of a certain monk actually) (chuckles!)

2) The second part was quite short, I seem to have the second chap complex, meaning my second chapter ends up being the shortest chap… hehehe… besides I still didn't know what to do with this fic then…

3) To lily: Kenken's cold coz… of any or all of the following: it's winter, the heater's got a problem, he's got holiday blues, his blankets are thin, he feels alone, and Aya's being a jerk. You may choose. (chuckle!)

4) The big question: Why is Aya/Ran being so mean to poor Kenken? Well… this chap might help us understand a bit… (or so I hope)

5) To Siberian-emerald: Aya's suffering scene huh? Well this chap is somewhat-but-not-quite it. More of a reflecting Aya…Let me see what I can come up with in the next chap…

6) I think this piece has been quite Ken-centric, don't you agree? So this one gets more of Aya-kun…

7) Ah… I could get quite cliché at times so please excuse that… though I'm gonna try not to be too sappy… or too fluffy O.o (gaahh! no morbid thoughts!)

8) And if I get quite or too ooc, please do tell… thanks…

PLEASE R&R! : )

So here it goes:

FROST by Kage Kurokawa

Part III Thawed for the Night

Bright city lights tempts a passerby to look at them. For some reason on this night they seemed brighter than ever. Perhaps it is because they glow amidst the background of a black, cloudy and starless night sky. Or maybe because tonight is New Year's Eve. But in the middle of the dazzling lights and seemingly cheerful atmosphere stands a man in a long dark gray coat, looking lost and forlorn despite that inscrutable expression painted upon his strikingly beautiful features. His hair, red like fire. Is it as warm as looks to be? Does it represent a passion hiding behind the man? A stranger would be made to wonder just by looking at him. On the contrary his skin, his face, the way he carries himself, he seems to be one with the snow that falls lightly on the ground around him. Pale. Cold. But enchanting nonetheless. Touch them and they turn to water on one's hands. One cannot seem to touch the snow as it is. It always turns into some thing else. Will he

melt when he is touched? But then he is not made of snow. He is a man.

Walking silently in the midst of a crowd, Aya promptly ignored the appreciative and curious looks that were directed his way. His ears were deaf to the sounds of happy chatter of the people around him. Families dining out for this occasion. Couple on dates. Friends on the night out. Singles looking for love before the clock strikes twelve. He is oblivious. Lost in his own memories. Haunted by his ghosts. As always.

His restless feet had somehow taken him in front of a bakeshop. He glanced at the window and was greeted by the sight of cakes, pastries, and sweets of various shapes and sizes. Images of long ago flashed before his eyes. Wonderful, warm, cherished. But with the passing of time, the memories that came with scene were more bitter than sweet.

xxx

"_Otousan! Okaasan! Here! Let's go in here!" _

"_Aya! Matte! Don't run!"_

_A little girl of ten ran happily towards door of a popular bakeshop. Her hair in pigtails bouncing softly behind her. Her bright blue and yellow dress gracefully follow her every move, highlighting the sparkle in her playful blue eyes. She stopped and waved back to her family._

"_Here! Hurry up! Mou, Onii-san you're too slow!" She stomped her feet impatiently and pretended to pout. _

"_Honestly Aya, you're like a boy." A young teen approached her. His violet eyes smiling as he softly ruffled the young girl's pigtails. "It's like having a little brother than a sister."_

_The girl stuck her tongue out at him in reply._

"_Aya, what did I tell you about running on the streets?"_

"_Gomen, Otousan."_

"_You should act like a lady when you're in a dress Aya-chan."_

"_Hai, Okaasan."_

"_But she's a little boy in a dress Okaasan."_

"_Okaasan, make him stop teasing me!"_

"_Ran, stop teasing your sister."_

"_Aww… Okay."_

"_Let's get some cake, onegai?"_

"_Alright dear, but what would you like?"_

"_I want the chocolate, but strawberry looks nice. The cheesecake looks delicious but the mango…" _

"_You're gonna get sweet tooth eating lot's of sweets imouto. Not to mention…fat!" Laughed Ran._

"_I will not get fat!"_

"_Will too!"_

"_Will not!"_

"_Not too mention you'll lose all your teeth!"_

"_Okaasan! Make him stop!"_

"_Ran!"_

xxx

Ran. A distant memory. His name is Aya now.

Aya. Her name. His name. Their shared name now. She is his only link to the life that he had once. Happy times. Wonderful moments. And she's asleep. Just as he left her two years ago. Just as he left her last week. Just as he left her earlier this evening as he wished her a happy New Year.

And so here he was. In the middle of the city. Reveling in past memories. The events of the past few days making him cling more to the memories of the past. H must not forget. He cannot be distracted. He cannot forget his purpose. He must not forget his pain. Not for one moment. He vowed on his parent's grave. He will not waver.

He continued to wander down the city streets. Walking towards nowhere. His feet a bit weary but his spirit is still restless. He wasn't aware of his surroundings till he reached a familiar place. Several lights illuminating the space before him. It was empty. The lack of people made it seemingly bigger than it really is. He sat down a familiar bench. This is where blue-green eyes would haunt him again. But he was too tired to turn and walk back.

So Aya just sat there. Looking into empty space. The ground was lightly covered by snow, where it used to be green with grass. And for what seemed like hours, the redhead just sat there. And fell in a light kind of sleep dreaming about how in his eyes the snow gradually turns to red.

_Blood. _

_His parents lying on the pool of their own blood. His mother looking up at him with empty eyes. His father, lifeless his face contorted in pain. In the dark kitchen. On his sister's sixteenth birthday. _

_Then the bomb. His legs. Unmoving behind the rubble. His sister. His baby sister, trying to get up. Looking up at him with pained eyes as the car hit her. _

_He will never forget his face. The man in the car. The bane of his existence. The reason why his hands are tainted. Why his sister's in that plane between life and death. The one who made him turn out to be who he is. Takatori. Reiji Takatori!_

And with that final image violet eyes snapped open. And with a firm decision promised himself that this will be the year that he kills that bastard.

He looked around him as he recovered from his nightmare. He was still there. And now with his eyes opened a new figure haunts his waking dreams as he fervently tries to shake it away. Not now. He will not start the year by being weak. He will not start it by being distracted. Aya shook his head slightly and get up on his feet. He looked down on his watch. It read 11:07. Almost an hour till midnight. He's decided to go home and get some sleep. He's got the morning shift tomorrow. No point in greeting the New Year without the people you want to celebrate it with.

Again came a picture in his head that he promptly ignored.

Baka.

As he turned back, he saw a slightly staggering figure walking up to him.

Probably some drunk.

His eyes widened a fraction as the man's form entered his realm of vision.

Hidaka. Ken.

xxx

Ken looked up to meet violet orbs directed straight at him. Ken looked away and continued forward. Moving beside his redhead leader, he slumped on the bench that the other had previously occupied.

"Why are you here?" He asked. He didn't really know why he was asking. He just felt like it. He wasn't even expecting an answer. Not after everything that happened.

"This is a public park."

"Oh. Right. I forget." Soft laughter. Not really cheerful.

"Are you drunk?"

"Not drunk. Just tipsy."

"There's a difference?"

"Of course. Drunk is when you can't remember you're name, puke your brains out, talking incoherent words and fall dead on your feet. Tipsy is just--- hey! Why are you so talkative all of a sudden?"

Aya thought of leaving, but something's nagging him to change his mind. So on grounds he would not dare understand he sat beside the 'tipsy' soccer player.

"Just humor me, Hidaka."

"Weren't you just about to leave."

"…"

"So why aren't you leaving yet?"

"Do I detect bitterness?"

"Stop mocking me Aya. I'm too tired for your mind games. I'd like to begin my year without them."

Ken's eyes were cast downwards with his head bent and chocolate strands falling on his face. He could almost flinch as he felt his leader's hard scrutiny. He shivered a bit from the cold wind. And it was eerily silent for some time before he heard a rustle of cloth being removed and a white scarf was tied around his neck. Aya's scarf. He could swear that he saw Aya blushed a bit. Must be the alcohol. But he knew that was blushing himself. Awkward.

It rendered Ken speechless for a while before his thoughts went dark. _Not again._

"Aya-"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

"…"

Minutes passed. The brown-haired soccer player broke the uncomfortable tension in the air.

"Youji invited me to spend the New Year with him on the bar. He said hooking up with lovely ladies is the best way to start the year."

"…"

"Of course when we got to the bar, we had a few drinks and he found his lady of the night. That inconsiderate bastard. He seemed to have forgotten about me after dumped a pretty little airhead on my lap and went his way."

Violet eyes narrow slightly. But their owner remained quiet.

"I'm so gonna kill him tomorrow. After I get over my hangover."

"…"

"You know, I have no idea where Omi had gone off to tonight… that kid…"

"Stop spouting nonsense Ken."

"And stop being such a prick Aya! If you want your silence then go somewhere else."

"And you say you're not drunk."

"I am not drunk! Tipsy. Tipsy means I can't control my damn mouth! Drunk means I trip on my feet and stay down. So just butt out and leave me to my mutterings!"

Aya let out an exasperated sigh. Why he was putting up with this 'tipsy', clumsy, babbling, idiotic teammate of his, he refused to find out.

Meanwhile Ken was struggling so hard not to lose his temper. He's physically cold. He's emotionally drained. He's mind half induced with alcohol. And Aya keeps messing with his brain. He gave up.

"That's it. I'm exhausted. I'm too tired to argue or pick a fight. I just want to start this year in peace okay." He looked at Aya with somber blue-green orbs. "If you want to stay and keep me company, fine. If you really hate me that much, just leave me alone for now. You can pick on me tomorrow."

The facade of the amethyst orbs cracked a little. He gazed at the starless sky. Not much of a view.

"Are you going to sit here till midnight?"

"Yes Aya. It's not like I've got anywhere else to go."

"A few minutes more."

"Aya… can I ask you a question?"

"…" _Not this again, please_.

"Do you feel cold?"

"???" It was unexpected.

Suddenly, the black canopy of the sky was bombarded with colors. Fireworks that obviously meant that one year has ended and another has begun.

The two men who sat at the bench in the empty park looked up to admire the view.

But Aya Fujimiya only got a good view for a few seconds as surprise etched on his still features when he felt hand grabbed onto the collar his coat. He felt warm, soft lips on his, giving a short almost chaste kiss. Before he found himself looking at a pair of sober blue green eyes.

A déjà vu if you will. Of something that happened in the darkened hall, and in the middle of the flower shop…

But this time, no punches were thrown.

No slap came.

In their place was a whisper. A plea.

"Maybe. Just maybe I am drunk. So can you just hit me tomorrow? Or maybe finally tell it to my face how much you hate me… or how much I disgust you? But for now… please… just let me pretend that I'm actually warm---"

And as the sky was brilliantly sparkling with colorful pyrotechnics, Aya leaned over and gave Ken a proper kiss for the New Year.

Tonight. Just for tonight, he would give in to the temptation that's been gnawing at him for days, weeks, months… whatever.

He might regret or there maybe hell to pay tomorrow but he doesn't care.

And in his mind he answered the brunette's earlier question.

Was he cold?

Yes.

He was frozen.

But the ice would be thawed, even for just one night.

End Chapter

A/N: Okay…how was it? did I bore you? Hope I didn't…

Oh my! It's almost too tempting to make this longer… about chapter per week till Valentines Day (meaning about 3-4 more)! (Hey, this could my first Valentines fic!) What do you guys think?

But then that would mean that I'm gonna have to torture poor Kenken and Rankun some more, and more evil cliffies! (YamiKage comes out of the shadows with a maniacal grin!)… I don't know…

So… Should I… or should I not? Should I end with the next chappie? Please do tell when you review to help me make up my mind.

Please read and review… suggestions, comments… the works…

Arigatoo!

A HAPPY 2005 TO YOU ALL!

JA NE! Mata Raishou!


	4. Part IV

Disclaimer: Still not mine okay?

A/N: My, my! minna san THANKS SO MUCH for the reviews!!! Sorry it took a while. I'm back in school as well and the professors thought we had enough rest and each dumped piles of paperwork the students' lap! You can imagine the torture!

Some quick notes:

1) I'm glad that you guys are enjoying this fic despite the fact that it is quite too cliché…

2) to everyone: Thanks for the suggestions and the revs. : )

3) to Spawn of Hell and Norna Urd : I guess you're right. Sometimes when fics take too long they become ruined for good. So please do tell if I'm starting to make a mess of this one. : )

4) About this being a valentine's fic… well, I'll just see what I can dish out… but if I start bore you guys I'll end it on the next chapter. : )

5) to Norna Urd : Oh my! Thank you. But then… Yes. I guess I okay. Although, you might reconsider when it's done… so maybe you should see if you like how this ends first, ne? then let me know if you're still willing to do it. : )

6) to rei-kitty: "Yare, yare"… it's from my beloved Cho Hakkai of Saiyuki. More specifically: "Maa, maa. Yare, yare desu ne." Something like: "Oh well, here we go again…" : )

7) to katgrl: I know what you mean about school. : )

8) author chuckling: this is that expected day after scene… so cliché really… do forgive me… I tried not to make it too much…

9) this part is still sad! More Ken angst. (Bad Kage!) Coz I'm kinda upset about all the piles of school worked currently dumped in my room… so I took a break and typed this chappie… Tell me if I get too redundant, onegai?

Please Read and Review!!! Arigatou!!!

Frost by Kage Kurokawa

Part IV Shards

_It was pounding. _

_It was loud._

_It was painful. _

_It feels like hell._

_Oh, somebody's gonna pay._

_Yes, somebody's going to suffer a slow, deliberate, torture._

_Somebody's gonna die._

_Somebody's gonna scream for mercy before this day is over._

_Make that somebody a certain, lanky, skirt chasing, hormone overloaded blonde._

That much Ken Hidaka knew the minute he woke up like he was promptly ran over and then hit in the head by a bulldozer. Not to mention thefact that his whole body feels sore and numb at the same time. Espesciallyas he immediately sat up, that he had no choice but to groan and fall back on wherever he was lying. He landed on something soft. Might have been a bed.

There are sheets. He could swear he is on a bed. His head fell on a pillow. Definitely a bed. But he cannot remember going home and getting into bed.

Besides, it was still quite warm. He hazily remembered something about a broken heater.

Which means…

Oh hell no! He didn't freakin' go and sleep with some nameless bimbo last night did he?

He groaned some more. Somebody make the pain stop!

His head ached even more as he tried to remember what kind of stupidity he had gone and done the previous night. And it had been New Year too.

What a great way to start the year. Just great.

His eyes remained closed as his hands crept their way on either side of his body trying to cautiously feel any presence. There was none.

He sighed in relief.

But the right side was slightly warm. There was a slight indentation on that spot.

Uh. Oh.

He felt beneath the sheets.

He was wearing boxers.

Good.

His heart began to pound in time with his head.

Then it hits him.

He was wearing...

Nothing but boxers.

Not good.

He tried to open his eyes but even in what seemed to be a faint light they hurt a bit before they gradually adjusted.

He was on a bed.

Inside a room.

It was midmorning already.

The scene is vaguely familiar for a moment.

Before he realized where he has.

He was…

In his bed.

Inside his room.

In the middle of the day.

And his boxers. Red boxers with green dotted prints. (A/N: Polka dots. Hehehe. Sorry can't resist)

He sighed in relief again.

But then…

What the hell?

Slight panic set in.

He was in bed with someone, inside his room, during the New Year, wearing nothing but boxers?!

Color red flashes in mind.

Definitely not good.

He can not remember. His head still hurts.

Suddenly…

He doesn't feel so good. So he ran to the bathroom and…

Oh Youji is so gonna be dead!

xxx

Ken entered the kitchen a good thirty minutes later. Wearing a green sweater and the usual faded blue jeans. Omi was just putting a steaming cup of chocolate on the tabe before settling down on a chair.

The chibilooked up and smiled.

"Ohayo Ken-kun! Happy New Year!!!"

"Not so loud please, Omi!" The brunette sat down and held his head. He tried to smile.

"But a Happy New Year to you too."

"Anou, Ken--?"

"Just a hangover Omi."

"Oh. Do you need anything?"

"Happy New Year everyone!!!" A certain blonde vociferously greeted the room.

"Owww! Youji!!!" Hangovers are killers.

"Hello Kenken! Had a nice night?" There's that big silly grin.

"I'm gonna kill you today, Youji." Glare. Pain. Ouch.

"You mean you didn't get any last night?" Teasing. Smug.

Ken was livid. His head hurt. He felt his cheeks reddened.

Omi blushed.

"Fuck off!"

"Already done that, thank you very much." Smirk.

Silence.

"So does this mean you didn't get some?"

"Shut up!!! Owww!!! I have a nasty hangover and its all because of you!"

"Hey I didn't I didn't ask you to get drunk last night…"

"I wasn't drunk, I was…"

"Yeah, yeah. Tipsy, tipsy. That's what you kept muttering last night before you left. Like I believe you anyway."

"Left? You were the one who left me with some random blonde airhead!"

Shrug. "She seemed bright enough to me. Who cares though? She looked hot!"

Wide blueeyes simply looked back and forth to his two friends.

"You know Kenken, if you asked nicely I'll make the Youji special hangover vanishing concoction."

Eyebrows raised in distrust.

"Hey it's very effective, trust me." Wink.

Blue green eyes narrow but said nothing.

"Seriously, if it doesn't work, I'll let you kill me today."

He looked at Omi. The chibi's face contorted slightly in disgust.

Ken frowned.

"Hahaha. Don't mind the chibi. I made him some one time and…"

"Omi got drunk?"

Omi blushed.

"It works Kenkun." The genki kid changed the subject immediately. "It tastes like garbage but it does the job."

Shrug. Might as well. Anything to kill the pain.

xxx

Minutes later.

"What is that?"

It was green. No. Brown. No. Dark yellow. Ken couldn't really decide.

It indeed looked like garbage.

Youji smiled evilly and handed the soccer player the equally evil-looking glass.

It smelled like shit too.

Covering his nose. He gobbled it all down in one gulp.

It tasted like crap.

He wanted to throw up.

He must have looked it as Youji laughed and Omi looked at him with sympathy.

What a way to begin the year.

At least his head is clearing up a bit.

Youji's drink is starting to take effect. Thank goodness.

But he'll still kill that playboy later.

xxx

"So where'd you go last night Kenken?"

Where did he go last night? Honestly, he couldn't quite remember. He dimly remembered leaving the bar. And then walking. Yeah. He did wander along the city streets. But where did he go? Somewhere with a bench. He saw red again. But it was still very vague. So in response he said:

"Oh just drifted here and there. Then I went back home after midnight."

Oh that was nice, considering he couldn't recall how the hell he managed to get back safely. Another image. The warm empty space on his bed. He'd have to figure that out later.

"Aww… Poor Kenken. Spent the New Year alone. If you'd just stayed and---"

"Youji!"

"Did you see the fireworks Kenkun? They were wonderful!"

Fireworks? Yes he remembered fireworks. Somewhat. It lit up the black sky with a dazzling array of colors. But the dominant color was… violet?

Yes he remembered the fireworks.

"Yeah I saw the display Omi. It was beautiful."

Yes it was indeed beautiful. The color purple.

One name.

Aya.

Where did that come from?

"Oh I have to go now you guys. Aya-kun's alone at the shop. I just told him I'd take a short break."

"Ya, go do that chibi before he goes into the king-of-the-jungle-mode." Snicker.

"But Aya-kun is quite in a good mood today, Yo-tan."

"Yeah, I could almost swear that I heard him mutter a 'happy new year' when I greeted him as I entered. Most strange. If I didn't know better I'd say he got laid last night."

And for unknown reasons, a certain brunette choked on water.

Two blondes stared at him weirdly and then looked at each other questioningly.

Eyebrows lift. There was a smirk. A shrug.

And the chibi went back to the shop.

xxx

It had been a week since he woke up with the hangover. But Ken couldn't get some things out of his head. He managed to figure out some things but not everything.

Things like how the hell did he get home. One name.

Aya.

How did he end up in his boxers. One name.

Aya.

Who slept in his bed that night. One name.

Aya.

Did anything happen?

He doesn't know.

Who does he have to ask then? One name.

Aya.

Now figuring out who got the answers was the easy part.

Confronting the said person? Demanding explanations? That would be the predicament.

Youji must have been dreaming when he said that Aya was in a 'good' mood that morning. His temperament was anything but 'good'. Or so it seemed to Ken who was blatantly ignored the whole day.

And the next few days, Aya had been more aloof than ever. If that was possible. Not to mention irritable. He'd snap at the smallest things. Scaring those poor little devoted fangirls away. And making one of them cry the other day.

He knew Aya was deliberately avoiding him. And truth be told, he didn't want to talk either because he didn't know what he was supposed to say. He's still only got bits and pieces here and there. But nothing quite concrete. The scenes were still quite shadowy except for that kiss in the midst of the fireworks and then nothing more... There's a big chunk of space between midnight and midmorning that needs some clarity... He could almost laugh. Things look like one of those conventional denial and evasion scenes that happen on morning-afters in those cheesy, romantic soap operas. But then, when he dwell on it, he wasn't even sure if there was even a night before that he should be worried about.

And then there's a little voice in his head that keeps saying he has to know…

So, it was on a quiet afternoon when Omi was out to do research with his friends and Youji went on one of his usual trysts and the shop was uncannily empty that Ken decided that it was the perfect opportunity to talk with the redhead.

Aya was currently seating behind the counter as usual, reading the day's newspaper. Who the hell reads the newspaper on the afternoons? Aya does.

Although he doesn't really read. He just wants to make his companion think that he's reading. So he will not be bothered. So he will not be forced to talk.

But alas, Lady Luck has left the building.

"Aya?" The brunette began cautiously.

The recipient of the name did not bother to look up.

"Aya." He tried again.

"…"

Ken Hidaka was beginning to lose his patience. So he took a deep breath.

"Aya." Again.

"…" Again.

"Aya."

"..." Ignore.

Somebody got fed up. Stalked up to the counter. Yanked the newspaper from pale hands. And smiled sweetly.

"Let's talk shall we?"

"…" Play dumb.

"We have to set some things straight."

"…" Play mute.

"Are you even listening?"

"…" Play deaf.

"Dammit Aya! I'm tired of playing this charade over and over again. Why won't you be a man about it and talk to me?"

"…" Ouch. He's really pushing it.

"Look, I want things out in the open. I want know where I stand--- where we stand."

That's it. "There is no "we", Ken. As cliché as it sounds there is 'you', there is 'me'. But there is no 'we'."

"Right. Well, I'm sorry that I keep failing to remember that tiny detail every time you kiss the life out me!"

"Ken-"

A sigh of defeat. "Damn you ! I tried to walk away, Aya. I really did. I tried to ignore it. Get rid of it. But it keeps gnawing at me. It won't give me peace. That you say and do things that frustrate me even more does not help me forget it in anyway. I give up Aya. I really do. I just get more confused when I try to figure you out. You kiss me then you punch me. You kiss me then you mock me. I hear you say you hate me behind my back one minute and then smother me with kisses the next. What the hell do you want me to think?"

"It's not that simple Ken-"

"Yes it is. Either you return my feelings or you don't. I really like you Aya."

"I don't like you Ken." Cold.

Ouch.

Pause.

"ButI think we both needed that." Monotonous.

Need. What a word.

Silence.

It stretched uncomfortably. Until.

"Damn straight Aya." _That hurt_. Ken wanted to add. It hurt a lot. "So that night-"

"There was nothing to it. It was one night. That's it. That's all you asked for. And that's all I'm willing to give." A shrug.

Aya was right. Ken agreed. Faraway words reached his ears…

_"For now let me pretend that I'm actually warm…" _

But that didn't make the dull ache that's slowly rising in his chest go away.

"I understand." That's all he could say. And then he wonders whether he should regret making that little speech with Aya. He couldn't make up his mind which was more painful. Ignoring what happened and pretending it was all a pleasant dream (nightmare?), or facing the harsh reality and accepting it.

And the eerie silence stretched till closing time.

xxx

The clear night found this certain soccer player on a familiar ground. Once more, just like that snowy night a few weeks prior. He is here. He is not standing but sitting down on the dry ground beside the white marble. For some strange reason he finds comfort in this place. Hollow comfort. But a semblance of it is better than nothing. Isn't life ironic? He finds a weird sense of peace with a friend in death than when this 'best friend' was still alive.

Perhaps it's because this place reminds him of his naiveté. It reminds him that he is but a fool.

"Fooled you once, his fault. Fooled you twice, your fault." Yes. That was the popular saying and it seemed to add at the back ofKen's mind... "Fooled you thrice? You need your head examined."

Snowflakes gently fall once again, as it seems to do every night this winter season. But unlike that first night, he felt too numb to feel the chill.He sat there, looking at the ground with vacant, glazed eyes. The blue green orbs were surprisingly dry. And it seemed that for the first time in a long while, Ken Hidaka felt that he does not to have any tears left to cry.

Minutes. Hours. Time passed. Slowly. Swiftly. Unnoticed. The lone figure in the empty graveyard sat there, eerily still, as if he was somehow a part of thebleak world of the departed that surrounded him.

In the stillness of the night, something caught his eye. Before him was a shard of broken glass, glimmering in the pale light. He picked it up and brought it before his eyes. Something stirred within him, and for a moment he could sympathize with that jagged piece in his hand.

Alone.

Broken.

Unwanted.

Cold.

Just like him.

End chapter

A/N: Err… this was long chapter, ne? Not the confrontation scene you were expecting right? Not what I expected either… So how was it? Did you get that urge to throw the computer at me? Sappy, crappy, frustrating? Do tell… and review!!! Thanks!

Well, I'm gonna go back now to the mundane world of schoolwork… yay! (author is sarcastic and muttering silent curses at reality)…

Extra: i edited some errors in the text coz this had been a type and post coz i'm frustrated with life kind of chappie... so gomenasai!

Ja!

See you guys next week! : )


	5. Part V

REVISED!

Disclaimers: if I own Weiss Kenkun would be a bit taller, yuriko and sakura will not be in the picture, Youji will not have green eyes, Omi will not wear those shorts to missions, and Aya will not be crying bloody 'Takatori!' most of the time… but seeing as this is not what happened, it's quite obvious that I do not own Weiss…

A/N:

I'm still alive!

So sorry minna! Been really busy for 2 months- with several research proposals, major reports, exams, and a language class among other things! Ah school papers are the bane of my existence!… THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! (Hugs everyone! XD)…

I am so very sorry that this took a loooong while… can't blame you if you want to throw daggers at me (ducks first blade!)… but I've been quite stressed out that typing two line really tempts me to turn this into a bloody deathfic, which is a no-no, so I don't dare continue…

Err… are you guys still there?

Anyways, here is the fifth installment which I had to painfully squeeze in coz it's been so long and I might lost the drive to finish (gasp!)… don't worry I promise to finish… it's too late for valentines, I know and I apologize again… I blame stress… sigh… this is obviously cliché once again as it involves a bit of blood (been reading too many deathfics), lots of angst, an almost demented Kenken… and a drunk Aya? this fic seemed a bit surreal and a bit confusing to me, so please do tell me if I lost you along the way… coz as I type this particular chappie, I just clicked down the first things that entered my head, coz right now my brain becomes muddled if I think too much on stuff… I'm quite drained… (what on earth possessed me to write this? I honestly don't know. Maybe this is my outlet for all the stress in my young pathetic life…oh well… やれ やれ… )

Errr… grill me later after you Read and Review okay?

Quick notes:

1) to spawn of hell: thanks… I love the idea of warm and cold too… but I'm biased to the cold… : ) that's why I love Aya and characters like him…

2) Gaah! Aya's become too much of a bastard… I have to tame him a bit for this act… (by screwing him up a bit more! O.o) (chuckles!)

3) Ummm… the weird poem at the beginning is mine, written ages ago. I found it while rummaging old papers the other day… so sorry if it's crappy okay? I just felt it kinda fitted with this chappie…

4) Everyone else thank you so much!

5) oh and to my anonymous reviewer of chap 3… well, this is Ken showing those freeze burn signs…I guess : )

Warning: same old, same old… though I am led to believe that this chapter is weird… a bit longer than my normal (coz' I feel I owe you guys for making you wait too long and am too lazy to make this 2 chaps, this is probably the longest chappie I've ever done to date) and it's weird too… but I'll leave it to you…

Well… 始める。。。

FROST by 影 黒川 (errr… me)

Part V Intoxications (A/N: don't ask, just don't…)

"FROZEN 

_I hear nothing, I feel nothing… _

_The world is frozen… _

_I see everything, I see nothing… _

_I am frozen… _

_There is everything, everything is nothing… _

_To me…all frozen… _

_Everything passes by… _

_Still, no time, no space… _

_Can ever touch this place… _

_But frost… _

_Yes… _

_Frozen… _

_In silence… _

_Scream… _

_Frozen… _

_There is nothing here…" _

The white is tainted with crimson.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The warm red liquid trickled steadily, slowly, melting, merging with the top layer of snow-covered ground...

Stained…

A scarlet tinted shard of glass is placed gently above the blemished ground. It was stood erect, as if to mark something… should it mean anything?

Blue green eyes watched in fascination as the ruby colored droplets continued to kiss the snow from his arm.

Mesmerizing.

Strange. There is no pain.

Was there supposed to be any?

He did not know.

All he knew is that red is such a captivating color.

Loud.

Hot.

Fiery.

Passionate.

Funny, that doesn't sound anything like the red that he had known.

One long finger slowly traced the path of the red stream… hmmm… it has grown cold indeed…

A smile.

Might as well get used to it.

A pity.

For something seemingly so vibrant at first glance, there nothing to reach but a frozen abyss within…

Must be fate.

But then again, maybe it's because the warmth was frozen when it decided to take a walk in winter.

Maybe.

Too bad he didn't care anymore.

He is too tired to give a damn.

Winter has reached those blue green orbs as well.

And the frost has doused the last flames in the hearth.

What a waste.

Vacant eyes closed to the world outside as the dawn sung a chilly lullaby.

The frostiness was intoxicating.

xxx

Koneko flowershop greeted another cold morning with a certain brunette missing in action.

"Hey chibi, have you seen our cute little Kenken around?"

A small frown. "No Yo-tan. I went to his room but his bed wasn't slept in."

Groan. "Don't tell me he's gonna pull that disappearing act again. That would be getting quite old."

"But why-"

"Hmph. That's probably just his way of wanting us to miss him."

"He's not like you, Youji." A genki smile.

"Oh how you wound me, Omi. Are you telling me you people won't miss me when I'm gone?" Clutching the heart in mock pain.

"Ha! We all know you'll just be out chasing skirts somewhere anyway." Soft chuckling.

"If you two are done flirting, get back to work." Scowling violets gaze.

"Awww… lighten up and get that stick off your-"

Death glare.

Ding dong.

Save by the bell. And a very pretty customer, who looks over eighteen.

So, Mr. Stiffy's complaining about flirting? This green eyed blonde expert is gonna show him flirting.

"How can I be of service to such a rare rose in winter?" Somebody's opening that old bag of tricks again.

A blush from the recipient.

Old tricks… but works every single time.

"I'd like to take home a dozen of those please." Fuchsia colored nails pointed to several flowers by the window.

"Would you like to take me home as well?" Wink.

Cheesy line. Even the speaker would agree. But the secret is with the smooth delivery.

"H-huh?" Flustered. She's kinda cute.

"How 'bout dinner then." Flashing that winning smile

"Oh! Ummm… Yes." Blush. A pink as her winter coat.

It never fails. Someone's gonna get lucky tonight.

"Here you go, miss. Just sign this receipt. Together with your name and address of course." Another wink plus that irresistible commercial worthy grin as a final touch.

Customer almost faints.

Score!

Damn, he's sooo good.

Door closes behind a still blushing but satisfied customer.

That was fun.

"Yo-tan-" Omi stood in one corner, mouth hanging slightly open.

"I'm so good arent' I, chibi?" Smug smile.

Shake of the head.

It would have been a lot more fun if Kenken's here to get all disturbed as well.

Hmmm… maybe next time.

Green orbs turned to a certain redhead with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Learned something, Fujimiya?"

Ignore.

xxx

"Where the hell is he?" A certain playboy paces back and forth in the mission room.

"Calm down Youji." Clicking computer keys.

"We have a fucking mission." Taking out a cigarette.

"We can go through with it without him, Kudou." That meant shut the hell up from their esteemed leader.

"I had to cancel a hot date for this. And the bastard is probably goofing off somewhere." Smoke billows in the still air.

"Shut up, Kudou."

Silence.

"Alright Grouchy, spill."

"…"

"What did you do this time?"

"…"

"Can't answer a simple question, bastard?"

"Shove it, Kudou."

"You're such a prick, Fujimiya. I can only wonder what the hell a nice guy like Kenken saw in you r uptight-"

"I'm done!" Interruption.

Saved again from total obliteration via a well-polished, well-honed katana. Honestly, death is not happy with these narrow escapes.

xxx

Footfalls coming down the stairs.

"I saw Manx leaving." A quiet voice. Quite uncharacteristic of the owner actually

"Kenkun." Three pairs of eyes turned towards the speaker.

"Well about damn time, you laggard." Scolding. Teasing.

"What happened to your hand Kenkun?" Concern.

"…" No response from the brunette who is wearing a somewhat dazed look.

"Ken?"

"Huh?" Out of stupor.

"Your hand?"

"Oh… just a minor gash." In stupor again.

A minor gash? It is just one among a series that ran up into Ken's forearms had anyone bothered to draw up the sleeves of his jacket. Minor indeed.

"Really?" Blue eyes looked doubtfully but left it at that.

Blank stare.

"Hey! Come back to earth!" Hands waving. Left. Right. Left.

A smack on the forehead.

"Huh?" Still out of it.

Somebody pinched his bottom.

"Youji!"

"Ah. Still alive I see. Now, about you arm…"

"I slipped on a wet pavement and some sharp piece glass embedded itself in my palm and got quite comfy okay?"

Well… fine, so he lied about the slipping part. But his teammates seemed to accept the explanation at face value. He smiles. The two blondes smiled back. The third one just stared impassively as usual.

They believed him.

Not!

Youji thinks: _If you say so. (Insert sarcasm)_

Omi thinks: _Right. Like I'm really gonna believe that.(Insert mock innocence) _

Aya thinks: _Stupid, clumsy, idiot... I don't care. (insert feigned indifference) _

xxx

"We have mission Ken." Omi explained as he adjusted the speaker in his ear as Ken read the information printed from Omi's computer.

"Obviously. Seeing as you are all geared up." The brunette rolled his eyes and turned and up the stairs to prepare as well.

"Are you sure you're well enough to be here Ken?" Youji asked the retreating brunette…

"I'm fine Youji. Now stop fretting before you sound like Omi…" Ken teased.

Green eyes surveyed his friend's form doubtfully before shrugging. "If you say so, Kenken."

_If you say so… _

As Ken stepped into the hallway, he sighed as he wondered.

_I always say I'm just fine… _

_It's way too easy… _

_Lying to myself… _

_Convincing the world… _

_But then, do I really fool anyone… _

_No… I'm just trying to dupe myself… _

_And if I dwell on things even for just a minute… _

_I am faced with the truth… _

Nothing is really fine… 

xxx

Earlier that morning… 

_Icy breeze swept brown hair from Ken's face and woke the sleeping soccer player to a cold, dank morning. His groggy mind tried to register why the hell it's freezing inside his room when he had the damn heater fixed the other day. Then it suddenly dawned to him where he was as another gust of chilly wind hit his face. He fell asleep here, leaning on the cold marble of his ex-bestfriend's grave, out in the open. He had slumbered for hours on snow-covered ground. For two hours? Maybe three? Sure, the snow had been light, but still, he could've died of frostbite… or hypothermia. But he didn't. _

_Too bad. _

_Would've made some people happy if he did. He thought bitterly. _

_Maybe he'll be lucky and get pneumonia. _

_Damn. He's thoughts are bordering on going suicidal. _

_And it only took one stupid bastard to make him seriously contemplate going through with it. _

_Which is too ironic when one thinks of all the atrocities he has done. _

_All the lives he took. Including that of the person whose grave he'd leaned upon in the night.. _

_Yes. He admits. Those deeds left him hollow. They hounded his nightmares. They pound at whatever is left of his humanity. They make him question his sanity. _

_But none of them. Not one, has left him this helpless… Desperate enough to get rid of this one emotion to the point of doing the world a favor and ridding it of his miserable self. _

_Rejection seemed to feel worse than killing. Or so it seemed to him. _

_Because when he kills, he is somehow quieted by the thought that he was ridding society of another menace. _

_But having his feelings rejected, trampled and thrown at his face was more than he could bear. _

_Why? Ken asked himself that infernal question for what seemed like the millionth time already… _

_Why must he make himself suffer this way. He'd like to get angry at Aya for being the bastard that he is. He was angry at Aya. He'd like to get angry at Youji and Omi for giving him false hope. He was mad at them. He'd like to get angry at himself for falling in love with Aya. For hoping. For making a fool of himself. And he was indeed angry at himself. _

_Was being the operative word. _

_Now, he honestly does not know. _

_It's too cold for him to feel. In his body. In his mind. In his emotions. _

_Everything seemed to have numbed. _

_Like time had been suspended. _

_Was this a good thing or not? _

_He cannot say. _

_And so Ken Hidaka began to laugh under the pale morning sun. He laughed till tears were in his eyes. He laughed till the warm liquid streamed down his cold face before the drops succumbed to the cold air, almost freezing before they hit the ground or are born away by the winter breeze. _

_As the tears fell, he laughed harder. Bitter. Sad. Crazy. _

_He had cried more tears these past few weeks than he had in his entire life. Much more than when he was expelled from the J-league. Or the incident with Kase. Or with Yuriko. He must really be losing it. _

_He laughed some more. Dropping his head, he lifted his hands to wipe the tears. _

_He felt something stung as he moved his left arm. _

_There was a cake blood on his palm. _

_There was a crimson trail from there leading into the sleeve of his jacket.. _

_He lifted his sleeve. _

_And then there was silence. _

_Minutes passed. But blue-green orbs faded to gray-green. Glazed eyes focused on one pale arm. Covered with brick red streaks… dried blood. _

_His blood. And then there were several long marks. Several parallel lines marred that skin near the wrist. Not too deep. Just short of the main veins. And then there is another wound below it, stained with a lot of blood. It seemed gruesome enough to look at. _

_Still in a trance-like state, the brunette reached on the ground beside him with his uninjured hand and grasped at the small pile of snow there. He then scraped this unto his bloodied arm. It didn't feel anything. _

_Fascinated, continued cleaning the dried blood and uncovered what was underneath the crimson covered surface. _

_Several more lines cut into the skin, and it's gonna scar when it healed. _

_The brunette looked at the line closely, tracing the pattern that they created. It must have been painful. Carving the lines unto his skin with nothing but that single shard of glass he found the night before. But he cannot remember anything but that the night was chilly. _

_And he was numb. _

_He wanted to feel something. Anything even pain. _

_But even that did not come. _

_That much he remembered. _

_The pain did not come. _

_ No matter how many he had cut. _

_ No matter how deep. _

_Frost had crept up into his system. _

_He had tried to fight against it. _

_He knows he is losing. _

_He is now willing to resign to his fate… _

_He sighed… it was funny… how it all began… _

_Back then, all he wanted- _

_All he wanted was release from his pain… _

_All he wanted was to share a life with the person he loved. _

_All he wanted was to feel the warmth… _

_But in the end all he got was more pain. _

_All he got was himself. _

_All he got was the blistering chill of winter… _

_Such a shame. _

_After all, a person can only take so much. Before everything shatters. _

_Like the glass he had found last night. The fragments get lost. And become nothing but remnants. _

_A mere memory. Of what was. Of what can never be again. _

_Till it fades beyond recollection. _

_What a waste. _

_And Ken found that he was losing his senses on a snow covered morning… _

_Literally, figuratively… _

_What does it matter? _

_He flexed his palm. Blood flowed out as the cuts there were reopened… _

_Crimson seemed filled his senses… _

_He admitted one thing right then and there… _

_He found the color red intoxicating. _

xxx

Present…

It was a fairly common mission. The target was one of those typical drug syndicates… Nothing too big. Nothing too fancy You just barge into their place of operations, kill the bastards. Go home and move on. The usual… no big deal…

But somehow after a time, the routine could get quite boring. Same old scenes. The same old blood spattered trail.

The fear.

Death.

It does get quite tiresome…

Conscience is no longer an issue. Justifying murder no longer applies. It's nothing personal now.

It's just a job…

Tonight was no different.

Supposedly.

The mission was accomplished. But…

It seemed that something had gone wrong. Something had gone amiss.

Why?

Because Siberian blatantly ignored orders.

Because Siberian carelessly executed his part.

Because Siberian is now lying in a pool of blood in the middle of the hallway.

Because Siberian took several hits.

Because it seemed that Siberian had wanted to die…

"Siberian is down!" A voice frantically shouted into the transmitter.

"I repeat… Siberian is down! Abyssinian… Where the hell are you!"

"We're on our way Balinese! Bombay out."

And so it was on that dark, bloody hall that Abyssinian and Bombay found Balinese crouching over the unconscious figure of Siberian.

All others in the building had been… properly dealt with.

"He's badly wounded." Balinese explained. "Help me carry him out."

As the trio went out with their wounded comrade in tow, Abyssinian can be heard furiously muttering over and over about clumsy, reckless idiots…

End Chappie

A/N: Anou… umm… so how was that… will Ken wake up? Will Aya still be a bastard (of course)? hate it? like it? lost ya? wanna hurl that monitor at this poor, over fatigued author? Oh well… just barbeque this in the review section… (yawn…) it's like 3 am here right now… I have make classes in the morning… so I have to go sleep… or else people are gonna complain why I'm so chippery… R&R please… thanks so much! see ya soon… just one or two chaps more I think… author to tired to avoid the things being thrown… is hit, sways, slips, lands with a thud and promptly falls asleep…

Ja minna!

P.S. (Semi?) Drunk Aya is now on the next chapter… : ) 


	6. PART VI

IMPORTANT to former readers! PLEASE BEFORE YOU GO ON FURTHER: I'D LIKE TO TELL YOU THAT THIS IS THE SECOND HALF OF THE ORIGINAL PART FIVE… WHICH I DIVIDED, MAJORLY REVISED, & EDITED… so if you've read the original part 5 and had gone straight here please go back because it has been redone… THANKS…

Disclaimer: This is getting tiresome really… you guys should know by now that this author own nothing here except the hopelessly clichéd plot…

A/N: Author gapes stupidly at the sight of the computer screen… 75 reviews! Awww… THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS MINNA SAN! (Big Bone-cracking Bear hug to all!) Author is on sugar high again as somebody at home brought a pack of chocolates… so bear with perkiness…

Anyway…I still find it quite hard to believe that there are actually people who enjoyed reading this fic… I'm bored and I'm itching to do something not related to some blasted schoolwork, so I just decided to fix chapter five and divide it into two chapters… making it longer, clearer, and hopefully less confusing to myself (coz I read this again today and I lost myself along the way) and to the readers, and also because I think that I jumped quite suddenly from one part to the next… plus I had to correct the grammar and spelling errors coz the original chap was groggily typewritten from midnight till three in the morning. : )

Quick notes on reviews:

To Spawn of Hell: thanks again… and yes I love clichés … confidence? not when I'm stressed coz I tend to become kinda befuddled to be confident (sigh… thanks for the tip though… maybe I'll have it back once I can breathe fresh air again..: )

To heaven goddess: I know you hate cliffies… sorry coz somehow I'm not even aware that I'm ending with cliffies till after I finished a chap… gomenasai… : )

To Hellcat81: I agree, the original chap was strange and a bit melodramatic (still is)… I get carried away sometimes…and you can breathe a sigh of relief coz this will not be one of those sleeping beauty thingies… that would be taking the clichédness of this story up ten notches or higher… and I'm not aiming that high…

To Double: Er.. sorry to disappoint you… it would be interesting, but it's gonna make this fic way too overrated than it already is… maybe next time… (and while I agree that kenken's a beauty, I think aya will be a much better sleeping beauty… chuckles!)

To rainne: sidetracked huh? Maybe… but then… no more too heavy angst or else this fic might end up (tragically)…

To ae ran: thanks for the suggestion, maybe in the future I might be able to finally write in novel style which is a dream of mine… unless of course I'd have free time for those writing classes I've always wanted to attend… sigh… so for now… anything goes… : )

To Karen, Silverfrost, Chitoshiya to Tohma, Invisible fan, sc17: thanks… : )

PLEASE R&R MINNA SAN and do tell if you think I made the right choice of dividing Chap 5 or should I have just kept the original? So sorry if I've confused everyone…

Anyway, here's the next part…

FROST by 影黒川

Part VI Sleeping Beauty (A/N: err…just because I find it amusing okay?)

Voices amidst whitewashed halls…

"What happened out there Youji?" Sad.

"I don't really know Omi. You tell me." Confusion.

"Youji-"

"I knew we shouldn't have let him come. He seemed quite unstable when he arrived."

"There's nothing we can do about that now. All we can do is wait." That really all they can do.

"He took one to the stomach and one in the leg. He was grazed on the head… among other things…" voice faltering, remembering.

"He's never this careless. I know that he could lose control sometimes but he's not this… sloppy. Not with the missions anyway. Something's has been eating him up." An observation. True enough but for one.

"Not something. Someone. Make that someone a cold, red-headed bastard…" Barely concealed anger.

Slight nod.

A glare from one end of the wall.

"I'm not deaf, Kudou."

"Oh really. Blind perhaps?"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Can't handle it straight Fujimiya?"

"…" Turning away.

"Yeah that's it. Walk away. Avoid the issue. You've always been so good at that. Coward."

Turning back.

And a body was painfully slammed against the wall.

Violet eyes unreadable. Resentment? Guilt? Pain?

Who knows?

Green orbs that defiantly stare back cannot tell.

"You don't know what you're talking about Kudou." Icy monotone. "So just butt out."

"Guys stop this." Pleading. "Not here."

"No chibi. We deal with this here and now." Daring.

"No." Pale hands slowly letting go.

"Yes. It maybe none of our fuckin' business, but when your issues begin to affect this team, and someone goes suicidal on missions, it becomes our fuckin' problem too."

"It's Hidaka who's got a problem. Not me."

"Really? I'd say _Hidaka_ is your problem."

"..."

"Why the hell do you fight it? In our line of work, a chance like this comes so rare…"

"I didn't enter this 'line of work' to get 'this rare chance'."

_And so I walk away…_

xxx

The special ward in the hospital reserved for and by Kritiker was presently occupied by three people. The patient and two visitors.

The young patient who is in a comatose state was wrapped up in bandages, like a mummy. Tubes were connected in various parts of his body. Poor thing. Several broken ribs and some nasty bruises. And it had taken several hours to remove the bullets from his system. The brunette was very fortunate that none of the major organs were disrupted. A miracle, one could say.

Youji would agree. He guessed that something out there really watches over fools and suicidal idiots.

Omi is just thankful to find his friend still breathing.

After the operation, a doctor came out to say that it was a success. And that it was up to Ken's will now. The patient is stable but critical. He then said something disturbing. There were marks on Ken's hand. Cuts made just a day or two ago that were too precise to be inflicted by a second person.

The two blondes flinched slightly at the news.

The younger of the frowned and thought that maybe he should've tried harder to get Kenkun to talk to him before.

The other one clenched his fist wanting to bash it hard into a certain pretty face currently closing the shop alone.

The doctor gravely suggested that the patient might need some sort of psychiatric treatment when he recovers.

If he recovers…

xxx

And it's been five weeks since then.

Still, blue-green eyes refused to open to meet the world…

Almost everyday two blondes could often be seen entering that small quaint room. Sometimes separately, sometimes together. Always bearing some kind of flower or plant. They'd often stay awhile. By now the room's occupant had been free of some tubes and bandages. The bruises that had marred that handsome face had visibly lightened. Almost gone really. The cuts and gashes in the patient's palms and arms had also healed. Some were superficial. Some not too deep. And a few required stitches. The two visitors had decided on their own to have a lengthy discussion with the brunette when sleeping beaty wakes up.

Sleeping beauty. One could snicker at the nickname given to the patient by one of the attending nurses after the facial injuries had healed to revealed an appealing visage underneath. But a sleeping beauty he was nevertheless.

Aside from the noticeable physiological improvements, no other changes can be seen, as sleeping beauty remained sleeping the days away…

The day's visitors would just talk a bit, tell stories… from everyday stories about the current shop life, the mundane school life, something about those rabid fangirls sending their greetings among other things to the ahem 'intriguing' and 'amusing' conquests of a certain Casanova… and then take their leave with a smile and that tinge of sadness in their eyes that tells one how much they miss their cataleptic friend.

At night, however, unknown and unseen by the wakeful, another visitor comes. Silently. His presence acknowledged only by the shadows in which he treads. He walks down the hospital halls in very light steps that one won't be able to hear the footfalls unless one listen very carefully. This particular visitor would always come by very late and enter the room stealthily before sitting by patient's bedside till before the sun rises. And then leaves as silently as he had arrived, never a hint that he was ever there at all.

These nightly visits had been quite habitual. But the man had never been caught before. Always he would come and go at the same time. Always he would sit at the same spot and take the same position. Moving only to conceal his form when some nurse checks in at midnight. And then return to his original place on this chair by the bed holding a limp hand between his pale slender ones.

He cannot say why he is here. He will not dare rationalize himself. Because when he is in that room all he does is think about the young man lying in bed and look with unfathomable eyes for possible changes in the patient's body. A subtle movement perhaps? Or maybe a small twitch… any sign that the brunette was fighting to live… Anything…

He couldn't cry. And if he had tears, he would not dare shed them here… that's what he keeps telling himself… every night, over and over, he would tell himself this as he sits by the bedside without fail… and closes his weary eyes to join the bed's occupant for a brief time in peaceful slumber… before light comes…

xxx

February 13. 11:00 p.m. Footsteps trudged heavily outside Ken Hidaka's room. The door opened carelessly as a black clothed figure barges in with quiet but uneasy steps. A strong smell penetrated the room. Beer? Tequila? Vodka? Whiskey? All of the above?

The visitor reeled toward a chair as opposed to the usual silent grace and sloppily sat down. He looked at the figure sleeping on the bed with familiar yet clouded eyes. Sleeping? He snorted. The younger man looked dead to the world.

He shoddily brushed the red hair that fell on his face as he carefully assessed the patient.

How long has it been?

Three weeks? A month? More?

Damn. Why the hell wouldn't he just wake up? An urge came to just shake the brunette silly 'til he awakes.

Amethyst eyes glittered dangerously with indescribable… emotions. Anger. Sadness. Guilt. Pain. Hope. Madness. Drunkenness… and something quite a bit more. Passion? Lust? Or something deeper?

The visitor sighed quite loudly.

He hated hospitals. He always had. So why was he here again?

Oh yeah. His alcohol-fogged mind kind of remembered the sleeping patient.

A flash of anger covered his flushed face.

He hates Ken Hidaka… He really does…

He hates Ken's optimism. The way the brunette could just smile at the world like an idiot in the middle of the day when at night he would embed his claws on some scum's body. Filthy scum, but still…

He hates the way Ken tended to be clumsy at times… make that most of the time… I mean come on, how many times can a person trip on the same spot… and looking at the soccer player's impassive figure, he frowned… this is one of the reasons why… the brunette's carelessness always catches his attention… It makes him feel… concern. That much… in his liquor-induced mind, he will admit.

He also hates the way the brunette would come back from coaching soccer… all hot and sweaty and drawing heavy breaths while strutting his ass (correction: gorgeous, luscious looking ass) (A/N: author whacked for not being able to resist! chuckles) inside the shop… it makes him think of naughty, inappropriate things… things he'd like to do… to the brunette… with the brunette... the read headed visitor violently shake his head in an effort to do away with the images and failing miserably… as always… damn, he hates distractions…

Most of all, he hate Ken Hidaka's guts. He hates Ken for kissing him. For blurting out that he loves him… he absolutely hates the fact that the brunette had the nerve to do something he could not… act on his emotions and take the risk. He cannot act on his emotions. He cannot take the risks. He was more than eager to deny everything he ever felt.

And then Ken just had to go do a Bezerker on everyone.

Of all the foolish, idiotic, reckless things to do.

Ken decided to play dirty.

The soccer player resorted to… blackmail.

Damn him!

The brunette pushed Aya Fujimiya into a corner and forced him to come to terms with so many things that he had been trying to get away from.

It almost intensified the anger he felt.

Towards the brunette.

Towards himself.

Towards the situation they are in.

It made him admit to himself the real reason why he hated Ken… it was because…

Ken made him feel… something… Period.

**He** made him feel the warmth once more.

When he chose to exile himself into his cold, dark world years ago he never expected to feel the comfort of warmth. Ever. In fact, he had almost forgotten it. He never anticipated feeling this burning fire of passion rage inside him. He had gotten so used to the chilling flames of blind vengeance.

Of revenge.

For a long time, revenge was all he had been living for. It was all that mattered. His whole being is set upon this straight path. He did not care whether he lived or died, just as long as his thirst for his justice is quenched. It was all so simple. And he would have been content with that.

That's why he keeps pushing Ken away. The younger man is teaching him to look forward to some kind of bright future. To want to live life. To want to feel solace in open arms… as if wanting to offer some sort of salvation… a life where he could actually be happy again.

And in the recesses of his mind he thought that once he thought that the blonde playboy maybe right about him having issues about being happy. But of course he rather eat dung willingly than admit that to anybody.

Why can't anybody understand?

He cannot afford to be happy. He cannot afford to do anything without first getting his retribution.

But even in his (semi?) drunken state, he knew denial doesn't work anymore.

Yes.

He still wanted his bloody revenge. But he wanted to have a life while waiting for that day to finally happen. And look forward to something beyond that.

Yes.

He wanted to feel the warmth again. The comfort of human warmth. He's been too cold for too long.

Yes, he was now willing to take the risk. The choice had been made for him as he looks at the patient on the bed. It had been wrung from him as he carried the unconscious bleeding body that fateful night.

Yes.

He wanted Ken Hidaka. Badly. Way before that night in the hallway….

He wanted Ken…

No.

He…

He sighed.

He leaned over the still form beneath the white sheets.

Such a pretty face, even in the dark.

He gave in.

Lips touched.

Briefly.

It is midnight.

February 14.

_Wake up, baka._

End Chappie…

Tbc…?

A/N: Sigh! Finally done. It took me four hours to edit the whole thing.

Ok, so how was this? Much better than when I crammed part 5 & 6 into one chapter? Or did I confuse you even more? do you prefer the old version? Do tell… please R&R… Chapter 7 will hopefully be done next week… hopefully…

Thanks again for the reviews… greatly appreciated… : )

See ya guys soon!

じゃまたあいましょお!


	7. PART VII

Disclaimer: Nope… nada… still not mine. Will never be… sad, sad fact of life… so now on with my consolation… writing this fanfic…

A/N: This baka is back minna san! Gomenasai for the uber-lateness, demo if I write all the reasons its gonna take forever, but simply put--- life happened and totally bitched with me… stress, system crashes, falling sick, muses leaving.. the works… so I decided to be out of civilization for a while to recuperate… and I know I should have left a message or something but it totally escaped my overdrained brain… so sorry…forgive this baka and call back all those shi-ne mode bishies you've been sending to chase my hide?

Anyway… THANK YOU SO MUCH to all those who read and reviewed this fic… imagine my shock 89 revs… (author faints…)

For this chap… guess who's pov is at the start?

Okay enough chitchats for now I'll just do the… responses on the last chap... this is the second to the last part…

FROST by Kage Kurokawa

Part VII Suspended in Winter

A month.

It's been a fucking month.

What the hell are you waiting for Kenken?

A damn proposal from the bastard!

Not gonna happen anytime soon you know.

You really have to open your eyes soon, sleeping beauty?

I'm mean, how many kisses does it take for you to finally wake up?

Honestly, you give fairy tales a bad name!

But then again, I didn't prince charming was supposed to be a bastard, ne?

You probably needed a dashing, debonair, knight in shining armor like me…

Unfortunately, there's only one of me… and I value my stunningly gorgeous self too much to fall victim to that viciously, shiny katana.

Honestly couldn't you have chosen someone who's a bit… oh I don't know… less obsessive-compulsive maybe!

Oh come on Kenken, the shop's been quite lonely without you there acting all naïve and flustered. Hell, I could swear that a certain corner stool misses you tripping over it.

Your fan girls are forever asking about you. It's getting quite difficult for me. Yyou know I don't want to entertain girls below eighteen. Hehehe…

The chibi misses you too. You should know that. He always comes down here when he's free. I should know coz that pretty little nurse down the hall told me so. He probably couldn't come till a bit later today, if at all. He's in school and it's White Day. He'll most likely be sidetracked by those cute schoolgirls who gave him chocolates last Valentines. Lucky twerp!

We've got the afternoon shift. I'm glad I'm not working with His royal crabbiness today. Ugh… don't get me started on him again…

What you see in him totally escapes me. But oh well… you're not the first blind moron in existence…

Hmmm… you're probably wondering why I'm here and not picking some hot chick on the road. Well, for one, I've got a particularly hot date tonight… and I mean HOT… and smart… I can't have you accusing me again of always choosing airheads so I can easily get some… ouch… besides, I've got a few numbers earlier, including one of the pretty staff here… probably the only consolation in this whole affair…

Also because I'll have my ass fried again by you-know-who if I'm late for work, as he so kindly put it yesterday. And beautiful distractions might make me forget the time…

Our esteemed leader seems to have an appointment somewhere this afternoon. Maybe he's got a date too. Doesn't it bother you?

Will you wake up to kick his butt if you knew he was cheating on you while you were asleep? You know, tonguing someone else while you're in dreamtown? I mean come on, can you blame him, when your pretty face gets paler and thinner everyday till it's pretty no longer? Wake up…

Sigh. You know, this is no fun. Me, givin' you a classic heart-to-heart and not seeing you go all red and flustered. Tsk, tsk. A tragedy I tell you…

You know, when I dwell on it, I think loverboy won't be able to cheat on you even if he tried. Hehehe… I mean he'd probably use old "'shi-ne' with a glare" for a pick up line. Who the hell does that?

Screwed in the head I tell you… or maybe… just desperate to screw you… hehehe…

He may not admit to anybody face and would willingly kiss a skunk rather than do so… but I 'know' for a fact that he 'does' care deeply for you.

Maybe in his own drastically cold and rigid way he actually loves you. Yes, LOVE. How do I know?

Simple, I saw and overheard some things last week that I probably should not have. I smile at the mere thought of it. I would have wanted nothing more than to delightfully shove the words in his face, use it for blackmail, but I wanted to be alive and roaring for my hot date tonight. Anyway, how long are you going to make us wait? I'm snapping my foot here with that irresistible frown pasted on my face as a sign of impatience…

We are you're friends. Your comrades. In many ways, we are a twisted sort of family. You don't just fucking turn your back on your family because they tend to mess up once in a while or give up on them just because they're hopelessly pig-headed. Where's the unconditional love? Uh, okay, getting carried away…

But honestly Kenken, despite the prick that he is, you should listen to Aya once in a while… he loves you in spite his obvious lack of public display. He's just, well, confounded. He's been confused for a long while, struggling with (what is left of) his emotions and trying to push them away. But he's also been failing for the longest time. Trust me, I know. After all I'm Youji the Great… a.k.a. master lover… I know what I'm talking about…

Anyway, I'll see you later Kenken. It's almost time for my shift… don't want to be target practice for that well-polished blade that has not seen some action for a while… like it's owner… hehehe…

Ja!

xxx

Koneko Flowershop

"You're late, Yo-tan."

"I'm perfectly on time, Chibi. Where's you-know-who?"

"He left a few minutes ago. Momoe-chan stayed for a while. He seemed to be in a hurry. I wonder why?"

"Oh. He's probably going to his date."

"He's seeing someone?"

"Don't look so shocked Omi. Our iceman's been enamored with a pretty face for quite some time now."

"Really who?"

"Oh. Just someone."

"Sakura?"

"No."

"Anyone I know?"

"I guess. I only learned that he was seeing this person last week."

"How?"

"Oh you know me. Subtly and gracefully walking into things…"

"You were eavesdropping on Aya-kun?"

"No, no, chibi. I merely heard things by accident."

"Right… how long have they been seeing each other?"

"I'm not sure. Over a month I guess. But I believe the courtship period was longer."

"Over a month?"

"Hai."

"Oh. Poor Ken-kun."

"I don't know about that…"

"What did you say?"

"I said, oh yeah too bad…"

"Youji-kun, you're smirking!"

"Am I? I wonder why?"

"You mean---?

"Oh, I don't mean anything at all?"

"You're a lousy actor Yo-tan."

"I beg to differ."

"Tell me…"

"Some other time. I need blackmail material on the bastard."

"Please Youji-kun."

"Sorry, chibi."

"Please Yo-tan."

"Damn, not that look."

"What look?"

"Omi…"

"Pretty please…"

"I hate you…"

"Yes!"

"Damn big puppy dog eyes…"

"Yo-tan…"

Sigh. "Fine…"

xxx

One week before…

It was half past eight in the evening. Way past visiting hours in the hospital. Of course Youji knew this. However, he had been stupid enough to leave something important in Ken Hidaka's room earlier that day. Something like his house keys for instance. He smacked himself again for the umpteenth time as he was now officially late for his date with new paramour. Damn. He charmed his way in quite smoothly with the lady guard and the young nurses and made for his still sleeping friend's room.

He was about to open the door when he thought he heard something thud inside. His assassin instincts took over and with praticed ease opened the door cautiously and quietly. Just enough get a peek into the room within. What he saw nearly gave him a heart attack. Good thing he's already in a hospital.

There by crouched by the bed with his back behind a door was the unmistakable figure of Aya Fujimiya. Youji felt his jaw dropped open as he saw his leader slowly leaned over the catatonic form on the bed. His eyes grew wide as he saw one pale hand gently land on a passive face, stroking it in a seemingly tender manner for a few seconds before…

Youji was glad the corridor is currently empty because knew that he probably made a fine interpretation of a fish as his eyes were treated to the sight of the redhead kissing the sleeping brunette. Kissing!

'_What's this? Aya 'fucking cold bastard' Fujimiya was kissing Kenken! My, my what is the world coming to?'_ The spying blonde thought smirking smugly after he got over the initial shock.

He guessed that the redhead had finally ended his useless denial.

So okay, it's not like he heard a fancy, sappy, cheesy declaration of undying love then and there, but still the uncharacteristic action of his 'cold' leader leads him to believe that the said bastard might be harboring strong feelings for his soccer playing friend.

Too bad the said soccer playing friend involved is still too unconscious to respond.

This left Youji wondering.

_Is this what it takes for Mr. Scrooge to admit his feelings, Kenken in a coma. What in the world will it take for him to ask the brunette out for a date? _

At this the blonde playboy shook his head. Poor Kenken.

Well at least he's got something to hold over Aya now, he realized smugly.

But damn it. This means he won't be able to get his keys tonight without alerting the flame-haired bastard. And he can't have that.

Oh well, who needs the keys anyways? It's not like he's sleeping in his room tonight at any rate. He'll just have to tell Stacey that he lost his keys and couldn't get in the house to change after work. She'll understand. Youji's charming enough to pull it off, besides working in a flowershop makes one smell like flowers anyway…

And thus, off he goes unnoticed by the occupants of the room, sparing one last glance at his teammate holding the hand of his brown-haired friend while talking softly to the latter. He smiled as he walked out of the hospital and into the night...

xxx

Present time…

For some reason he is nervous. It's not like he's never done this before. In fact he'd done this previously so many times that he could do this with eyes clothes and arms tied.

He let out a small sigh. It's not like he's never been here. On the contrary he's here almost every night for…

It's different this time, he thinks, as he surveys the place with distant, uninterested eyes. It's the first time he's ever been here quite early. It's the first time he comes to a place like this bearing gifts for someone other than his sister. The first time he's decided to throw all caution to the wind and just follow impulse. The first time he's made the choice of finally admitting openly his sentiments for a certain brunette. The first time anyone would probably see him visit. A day of firsts… He's just so tired of hiding.

The doctors had said that the brunette's condition was stable and is now in good health. All physical and internal injuries sustained were healed. So why has the idiot not yet open those eyes of his. Even the attending physicians didn't know. The only explanation they gave according to a loudmouthed blondie is that the patient will wake up when he is ready to… of course said blabbermouth kept giving not-so-subtle innuendos about kisses and sleeping beauties every a certain crimson head in orange sweater pops into his view.

Footsteps falter slightly as the intended room came into view. Several foot dragging and deep breaths later found a red-haired man in front of a door. Hands hesitantly gripped the handle of the knob, when it suddenly opened from the inside to reveal a startled middle aged nurse.

"Oh, another visitor," she smiled. "I've never seen you here before."

"Aya?" A surprised voice came from one side of the room.

Omi.

There's no backing out now.

Aya nodded briefly to the smiling nurse before the woman left, thinking to herself how their handsome young patient have such attractive friends.

Aya scanned the room and saw Omi still looking at him curiously as a growing knowing grin appeared on the chibi genki's face and he groaned inwardly. This is what he gets for stopping by this early.

"Hey Aya, we were just talking about you."

At these words violet eyes automatically turned towards the bed and saw a sight that made his insides clench painfully. Steady blue-green eyes met his own.

"You're awake." Geez. Great statement Fujimiya. Really smart. Brain is officially shutting down for a while.

Those haunting eyes continue to hold amethyst gaze.

"Hello, Aya." That voice. He missed that sound for so long. Who knew that even with two words all stubborn logic and resistance lodged in his system will come crashing down?

"Ken." Another very intelligent comment.

Omi looked at his two comrades grinning and decided that it might be if he started to make himself scant. The tension in the room was so thick you'll probably need a chainsaw to cut it, when he was suddenly met with a sight that he thought he would never thought of witnessing in a million years--- Aya purposely striding swiftly towards the bed, a string of emotions shining in his eyes, giving him a look so alien from the usually stoic or otherwise pissed off expressions he wears.

Omi could only gape and wonder as his team leader flopped down the bed and kissed the daylights out of his suddenly dazed bestfriend.

Recovering his wits slightly, he discretely left the two to their own devices. And closed the door softly. Though he doubted that it would have made a difference if he slammed it behind him. And the young man walked out of the hospital in contemplation of what he had witnessed and wondered if he should tell Youji.

xxx

Meanwhile at the hospital room…

When the need to breathe finally forced the two occupied people apart, they studied each other silently while catching their breaths.

"I miss you." Aya quietly admitted.

Ken scrutinized the man in front of him. The redhead had this certain habit of always catching him off-guard at the most inopportune moments. His thought flashed vaguely back to earlier events…

He woke up a few hours before and was declared healthy after a thorough check up by his doctors. He only needs to stay another day for observation.

When Omi arrived later, the younger man was shocked and elated to find his best friend awake. They talked about a lot of things. Mostly, they spoke of trivialities as Omi knew that Ken isn't ready yet to talk about heavy stuff. But eventually, the topic of discussion landed on Aya and Ken's feelings. They were merely starting when the object of their thoughts came in proceeded to take his breath away...

As he stared at his teammate, he saw the latter looking thinner and slightly paler than when he last saw him. The amethyst gems that he so enjoyed gazing at, were now flooded with so many emotion, that Ken felt dizzy at the intensity of those normally cold orbs.

The ex-J-leaguer would like to believe that it was indeed his leader that faces him at this particular moment. But he's so… changed.

Ken felt himself lean in to the pale arms that embraced him once more.

There were no words. But Ken felt something so warm… so comforting… so securing... in that one embrace… unlike before…

As memories torrentially flowed back into the brunette, a wave of confusion overcame him. And then hesitation…

Everything felt good and right and this moment…

But…

And with that one word. That flicker of pause… made Ken decide…

"Ken." Aya's voice brought him back to reality.

Blue-green eyes looked down. Before meeting deep violet.

"Ken. I-" Fingers touched red lips…

xxx

He stared out the window of his room with eyes glazed over indicating that their owner was not anywhere in real time.

It's been two months now.

Spring is almost over and yet… he did not feel it come at all. The first flower bud that was supposed to bloom had died… leaving his world suspended in winter…

And only an echo remains now… playing the softly spoken words over and over again…

"_Take a walk under the rain and maybe spring will come…" _

End chapter

A/N: Err… Am I getting rusty? Not the romantic wake up chappie you've been waiting for huh? Oh well… I mean, three months of not being able to write anything makes one feel a bit bent… losing rhythm and all… furthermore I'm getting sappy these days… sheesh… sorry for the evil cliffie… so like it? Hate it? Comments, suggestions, not so violent reactions are more than welcome…

Last chappie will be posted next week (currently partly finished)… hopefully I'll be healthy enough to write more ficcies then… I mean I've got ideas swirling here and there... oh and I have to review some stories I've read earlier…

Thanks again for the reviews minna!

Anyway it's 2 am here… so I'd better rest before I'm forced to be bedridden for longer than I could care for again…

Ja mata!


	8. PART VIII

Disclaimers: Nope. Not mine.

A/N: Ahh…gomenasai minna san… I'm truly sorry… this wanna-be author went into hibernation for a while… out of civilization again… I just got back…I needed a break from everything…it seems that I experienced some sort of Karmic retribution…and thus the need for drastic changes… and I mean DRASTIC… I just hope my writing is still consistent with my story though… I'd like to share some of the lessons I've learned these past few months, these are best summarized in three quotes I've read somewhere (can't recall) but have now memorized by heart…1. "don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive"; 2. "the key to failure is trying to please everyone"; and 3. "let things take their course, move with them and never force"… and that's that…

Now for some quick notes: THANK YOU very much for the reviews… I can't believe it reached over a hundred… (gapes at screen…) it was a very pleasant surprise for me when I came home and checked…

To Heaven Goddess: Sorry for the cliffie and the long update. Thanks for the review and thanks for the offer too. It was sweet. I honestly didn't know what a Beta is (gasp!) until recently so… how does it work anyway? (sorry... I'm kinda dense sometimes)… umm, if you're still interested well then you're welcome to do so… just send me an e-mail or something… : )

To Karen: thanks... n well hopefully i'll do more Ranken stuff... : )

To moon without a sun: thanks...

To Amakurikara: thank you. sorry didn't get to e-mail... hopefully you'll know what happened when you read this part...if stillconfused... just tell... and i'll e-mail back...

To bbbbb and Kagami: thanx... hopefully there are explanations here...

To LtColS3: thanks... errr...this is the final chapter...so...

To tohda, eBooeBoo: thanks

To evelyn:so sorry for the confusion...and thank you for reviewing

Ti Gillian Sillies: err... here's the answer to your question... thanx.

To Akito-kun: thank you… and nope I don't have a beta reader as of the moment.

And to everyone who took the time to read this thank you...

Oh and theexcerpts from the poem at the end ofboth letters aremine written I don't remember when. It's crappy…sorry... yes… but it's mine. It's what got me started writing this part.

Lastly, after I finished typing this I was tempted to post it on well the season where its supposed to fit… but then I thought that I don't want to have one of those shi-ne mode Rans hanging over my head so…

Hmmm… good things must come to and end… so here's that last chapter that's been stored ¾ finished in my system for ages… it's slightly different… judge for yourself… it's finally done… Please R&R

FROST

Part VIII Autumn Spring

Autumn means winter is coming soon. But strolling down a path somewhere in the park seemed like a nice normal way to spend an afternoon in autumn. Feeling the fallen leaves crunching gently beneath the soles of the shoes, the warm colors of fading blooms and the cool breeze on one's face brings a certain euphoria of being one with the earth… this season of falling leaves hold a strange sense of beauty.

But when one walks down on the same path in the same park on an autumn afternoon in the middle of the rain soaked to the bone… the beauty turns to dreary scenario of a bleak world preparing for death.

And thus, in that mid afternoon of late October, a figure stood beside a nearly leafless maple tree, stoic, motionless, and watching the world pass by like a dream. Waiting for someone that most probably won't come today. But still this figure waits steadfastly… a tiny flicker of hope amidst a sea of doubts…

It had been his routine for the last few months. Summer had ended. Autumn is here. Winter is coming soon. But spring won't seem to come…

He used to wonder why he was left behind. But now he knew. Or thinks he does. The words on the letter linger inside his brain day after day… month after month…

_Flashback_

_A finger silences his lips…_

"_Hush." A plea. "Don't speak now or I might forget everything else, and that is the last thing both of us need right now. Just stay here and keep me company."_

_Silence._

_He stayed the night on that small room with whitewashed wallsonly to wake up the next morning, alone, with nothing but a letter in the middle of an empty bed beside his chair._

_And as he read through the text he seemed to feel the earth caving in beneath his feet…_

_If he were not who he was… he would have cried._

_Aya,_

"_By the time you read this letter, I'm most likely not there anymore. There are so many things that needed to be resolved and yet it cannot be done there. I don't want to be over dramatic or something so I'll get down to the point... _

_I feel cold._

_I'd like nothing more than to kiss you and believe in you again… but…did you see what I did… what I've become? I've punished myself for somethingI cannot control…like you not loving me or you being a cold bastard most of the time… or me still loving you despite everything… But I do not need your pity…_

_I am cold._

_There had been a time when I would have given anything for a minute of your time. But I draw the line when I had to do what I did to make you see me… to make you care…it was pathetic and underhanded. It wasn't fair to either of us. Maybe you are just confused right now… and feeling a bit guilty for what happened. It's not really your fault, I made the decision to do what I did… and now that I've thought about, it kinda disturbs me to know that I had to resort to…I'm weaker than I think._

_The cold makes me numb._

_I'm not angry at you. Not anymore. I'm angrier at myself for going too far. I realized that I've been acting like a spoiled child whose been denied his favorite toy. I need to set my perspectives straight…and hence the leaving._

_Do you feel cold?_

_Don't bother looking for me. I'll come back when I'm ready… Or maybe… I don't know…_

_It's still so cold._

_I do love you. For a moment yesterday I hoped that you might actually… but then… I don't want to assume anymore… not when it comes to you…I don't want to hurt both of us more than I already have… so… I need to think_

_Cold._

_Damn. This is getting really depressing so I'll stop._

_See ya_

_Ken_

_P.S. I want to write down this one last thing… it was something I read long ago…_

_I loved in winter, but Spring never came _

_Maybe the sun of Summer will chase the frost away_

_But as the snow melted down, I closed my eyes _

_And Spring eluded me_

_And when wake, I watched the leaves_

_They're already falling down_

_So I decided to go down the lane_

_In the middle of an Autumn noon_

_I took a walk under the rain_

_And maybe, spring will come to me_

_I will not miss it again…_

And so here Aya stood drenched and cold but he didn't care. Waiting under the autumn rain. He always does this everytime it rains after he received the letter. Wishing that by some miracle that Ken will walk by so that Aya can take him home.

It's been months since Ken left. The shop was never the same again. There always seemed to be something missing. No more brunette to fluster when the chibi's not around, nobody to scold about tripping over the potted plants, no more soccer balls littering all over the place.

Ken always called to say hi to Youji and Omi. But he sent no word to Aya. He would not tell them where he is. But he would always assure them he'd come back when he's ready. The missions were harder to deal with nowadays. The team manage the best way they can. But Weiss is not Weiss without Ken. It's funny that Manx didn't fret even after Ken had gone. She just said that Kritiker had been agreeable to Ken taking a leave after the incident. They need their agents to be clearheaded.

The loss of the unique warmth that Ken brought to the shop and to the team was felt heavily by everyone. Even the loitering fangirls who often asked questions of whereabouts do nothing butbring the ache of loss closer to the surface. Especially for this quiet red head. Sometimes he would get so frustrated he'd walk out of the shop in the middle of his shift startling his companions at first. Because Aya Fujimiya, a.k.a. workaholic-business-minded bastardonly walks out in the middle of his shift on a personal whim under the most extreme of circumstances like hisan emergencyinvolvingsister or succumbing to peer pressure to go somewhere with Sakura. Other than that, you'd have to forcibly throw him out kicking, slashing and giving deadly killer eyes to eject him out of the shop. But they got used to it eventually. Especially after he began to do it every time it rains. In fact they expected it of him. They did not know what it meant but they let him do it anyway. It's not like they could stop him. One time, whenOmi heardthe fromweather report on TV that it will rain that day, he readied an umbrella for Aya to use. Of course their crimson haired didn't even bother with it. He only brought it with him one timebecause he got sick from all that walking in the downpour. Yet he refused to give up even when he is ill. Stubborn as mule. As always.

And now,standingafew hours under the rain he waited still. And waited. And waited. The rain doesn't seem to give any sign of letting up anytime soon. And still he knew he will wait amidst the cold and the water… until it stops. He is used to the cold. I mean he is after all, supposed to be an ice cold bastard… but the rain soaking him today felt chillier than usual. The cold seemed to permeate down to the very marrow of his very bones… and seep though every fiber of his being. It didn't bother him so much before. But after he woke up and felt the warmth beside him that one night that seemed sodistant now, he knew that he would never feel the same about the frost that had touched him for so long.

The loss of that heat made him realize that he never wanted to go back to the cold, dark winter that he had locked himself in. And so he waits.

He started to move away from the beside the maple tree that he had been leaning on. And started the slow trek back up the path. The rain grew heavier, it isas if the sky wanted to pour down the Pacific Ocean on this city. The few people who were outside people could be seen scurrying here and there trying to get out of the rain and hurrying to some place where they can be dry and warm. Except this one man walking ever so slowly as if savoring the tasteless water that touched his lips without a care in the world. His face tilts upwards, red hair stuck carelessly all over his face, eyes closed and hands loosely on his sides. Surrendering the inevitable. He wanted to scream. He wanted to lash out. He wanted to cry. He could almost taste his tears mingling with the cold Autumn rain. He wanted… He only wanted one thing…

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't hear the slow footsteps approaching him. He didn't sense the presence that came stand in front him. He almost didn't notice that the rain stopped tingling on his skin. Until he felt a hand touching his cold, wet cheek.

Amethyst eyes opened to see a blue umbrella hanging over his face. His hand flew to the one still on his face. He kept his face up as his hands begin to shake slightly, he felt almost afraid to face the person in front of him, not daring to hope that…

The hand in his tilted his face down. And found himself staring at most captivating ocean blue green orbs he had ever known. There was a smile on that handsome face that he had so missed from long ago. He looked the same, if not slightly thinner. But he looked well and…

"Aya." Ah, how he missed that voice. A voice he'd only heard in his dreams these wearisome months. A voice he thought he would never hear again.

"Ken." It was all he could say.

"Omi said you left early." That voice is smooth and quiet.

"Ken." He can't believe that 'he' isreally there.

"Youji mentioned that you found a new hobby." He could listen to him speak all day.

"Ken." He can't seem to stop saying that name.

"Manx came over as I was leaving." Talk some more.

"Ken." His mind can't seem to focus.

"We have a new mission tomorrow." He doesn't know what is being said and he doesn't care as long as the brunette does not leave.

"Ken." Damn. Function. Brain. Now.

"Yes. Very good Aya. My name is Ken." Oh hell. Ken is laughing. He looks perfect.

"I-" It's a crime to be so dry and gorgeous under a heavy downpour.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Snap out of it.

"Hn. I was waiting from spring to come." A hopeful glance on a stoic face.

"In the middle of an autumn rain?" A smile.

"Yes." A small in response.

"You'll get sick you know." Curiosity. Or something else.

"I don't care. I won't miss it again… it might pass me by and never come back." A plea.

"Are you sure about that now?" A question.

"If I said yes, will you come home with me?" A hopeful question.

"If I come home with you, can I stay?"

"As long as you don't hog the all the sheets."

"I got your card, by the way."

"Is that why you came back?"

"No. Even if I didn't get it I'll still come back."

"Really?"

"If only to annoy you…"

"Ken…"

"Can we go home now? I'm cold, you're drenched, and we're both chilled to the bones."

"But at least I found Spring. Even if it came really late."

"Maybe it just came a little early."

"I'm still a bastard you know."

"Yeah. But you're my bastard now huh?"

"Home. Ken."

"Okay."

xxx

A small card lay open on a side table by an empty unused bed.

"_Spring came to me in Winter_

_But I was in love with the snow_

_It's been so long since I've seen the sun_

_I've learned to live with the frost_

_Spring came to me in winter_

_But I dare not touch its side_

_I hear it beckon to me_

_Still I only watched it go_

_Then spring embraced me in Winter_

_And it wouldn't let me go_

_But I wanted to stay here in forever_

_And beremain in cold white arms_

_Til Spring finally gave up on me_

_And released me to where I was_

_Then I found myself missing_

_Her friendly and subtle warmth_

_And as I lay herestill in Winter _

_I dream for spring to come"_

_I will take a walk under the autumn rain. Waiting for spring to come to me. I will not miss it again._

_I'll wait._

_Aya_

End Part 8

End of FROST

A/N: Saa, it's not exactly how I expected this to turn out but… oh well… What do you guys this… are you gonna throw a book at me or something?

Awww be nice… why? Coz I'm sad. I really enjoyed writing this piece. Anyway minna san: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. It is greatly appreciated. I might make some R/K one shots some time in the future. And just put it under one fic. I'm starting to work on three new fics: one Naruto, one Yugioh, and one HP. All Slash as usual. And update 'Lost'. And fix 'Waking' properly. I always finish what I started… or I die trying…

If you have comments, suggestions, complaints, etc., etc, just click the review button and write it down. Or email me… whatever…

Ja minna San

I'll be seeing you around… at least I hope so… : )


	9. AN: Quick Thanks

Ahhh... thisjust a quick thank you for everyone who reviewed:

To HeavenGoddess: THANKS so much... you've been one of my consistent reviewers... greatly appreciated... and well, sigh... there are no more chappies... (hugs and chuckles!)

To Gillian Sillis: wow, what a review... THANK YOU...

To Ashley Dawson: Thanks for the e-mail review... made me smile...

To Siberian emerald, Tohda, Ma-chan, Moon without a sun, eBOoeBOO, Rie, Blackdrak, Bweiss, Akito-kun, bffimagine, me (who is not theauthor), and ... (whoever you are): THANK YOU for reading, reviewing and appreciating!

Thanks everyone... the reviews really made my day...

And to everyone else who read and enjoyed (or so i hope) thanks...

Oh and yes to those who asked: yes, the two poems are mine...retrieved from the depths of the unending paper clutters in my room, writtenlate lastyear i believe... oh well, glad you enjoyed...

Well minna, there will be no sequel to this coz i think thata sequel might just break the story line... gomen ne...

About that ranken fic... well if you're interested tosee kenken get more tortured by ran-kun courtesy ofmoi... then feel free to readthe fic that i'll post in a day or two... it's just about, if notangstier than this one... it's still in my head and i'm gonna type first chap today...it's called"Sweet Nothing" which just entered my head listening to Weiss' song the otherday which had the same title... (chuckles)

see ya around people... ja mata ne!


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